I know we can get through this, whatever the situation might be. I’m not going to find the answers I’m looking for by acting like a crazy, obsessive woman. I’ll only get them by speaking to Brian.
The thing is… I’m afraid to know, because once I do, it will all be real.
I stretch into downward dog as the room fills. It’s decided — I will do this class, step out refreshed, and never come here again. And I’ll speak to Brian as soon as possible.
His feet are the first thing I see. He’s wearing white ankle sports socks. I crane my neck around to see the rest of him, to confirm his identity.
He hugs a small woman, and the whole room seems to brighten up at his presence. He shoots his sister a wave, and doesn’t spot me yet.
Meanwhile, I fear I might faint. I come down to child’s pose, close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I look up, he’s not standing far. He’s smiling widely. “You made it,” he says, and he seems so happy to see me, it breaks me a little. He has no clue who he’s dealing with. The nicest thing I could do right now is dash out of there and never come back.
“Yes,” I say, the word so small, I’m not quite sure I’ve actually uttered it.
“Well, I’m happy to see you. You’ll enjoy the class, I promise. My sister is amazing.”
I nod politely, and to my dismay, he settles himself right next to me. I smile at the sight of his yoga mat; a very feminine flower design stretches across it.
He turns to me with a playful grin. “My daughter, Ava, got me the mat for my birthday… she thinks it’s funny.”
I smile up at him. The both of us barefoot, he towers over me. When I last saw him, I was wearing three inch heels. “It is.”
Juliette’s voice booms over the speakers. “Hi everyone,” she says. “Beautiful day out, isn’t it. We’re doing session twenty-four today. I know that’s a favorite of yours. We’ll be doing lots of intense poses so I hope your legs are in shape today.”
The lights are lowered, the soft music starts, and we all follow along as Juliette performs introductory stretches. Her soothing voices guides us along as she gives us instruction. I catch a glance of Joel every now and then, and he shoots me a sweet smile. He truly is a beautiful man.
It’s just a yoga class, I tell myself. No big deal.
Joel and I are in perfect unison, our movements matched perfectly, like synchronized swimmers. Butterflies whirl around at the pit of my stomach. It’s thrilling to be standing next to him like this. This might be all I need. I don’t need to get to know him better — I already know too much.
Joel was right — his sister’s class was fantastic. I swipe a small workout towel across my brow, and down a big gulp of my iced water.
“So, what did you think?” Joel asks, all smiles.
“It was great,” I say truthfully.
Curiosity and expectation cross his features when he asks, “So, you’ll be back?”
God, I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t. “For sure.”
Wrong answer.I mentally scold myself.
He rolls up his mat with a delicate touch. “That’s great. I’m glad to hear that.”
He seems to really care and it warms my heart.
When he looks up, my gaze is glued to those beautiful brown eyes of his. We stare at each other for a beat without a word. “So… I always have a smoothie after class. There’s a place down the street,” he tells me. “I was wondering if you’d like to join me.”
The invitation takes me by surprise, and it seems innocent enough. I know I shouldn’t but I know I will. Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.
“That sounds nice,” I reply as I tuck away my mat in my bag. I force myself to look up at him, to make eye contact. I fear that if he looks me in the eye, he’ll see all my secrets, he’ll know what a minefield he’s walking into.
“Fantastic,” he says. “Let’s meet at the front desk… in fifteen? Time for a quick shower?”
I nod a little too eagerly. “Sure. I’ll wait for you. I’m showering at home later,” I tell him. There’s no way he’s seeing me with wet hair. Although he has before.
“Okay, see you then,” he says and disappears into the men’s change room.
19
