Now I’m literally sobbing in my pillow, already missing him.
* * *
Momma is already cryingand I haven’t even stepped out of the house yet. “You sure you have everything?” she asks.
“Yes, Momma.”
“All those fancy shoes you brought?”
I smile down at her. “It was three pairs, plus the ones I bought.”
She laughs. “That’s more than I have.”
Maddie is in tears too but not necessarily because I’m leaving. “You and uncle Blake are not in love?” she asks again. “You’re not going to get married and have babies?” she pouts. Marilyn stifles a smile, she finds all this funny. I, like Maddie, think it’s heartbreaking. I kneel down to her. “Sometimes, boys and girls really like each other, but they’re not meant to be together,” I try to explain.
A scowl traces her brow. “Are you going to marry that Peter guy?” she asks, clearly not a fan of his.
“I don’t know,” I tell her truthfully. “It’s hard to tell what the future holds.”
“Bye,” she says and squeezes in for hug.
I hold her tightly. “I’ll miss you, sweetie.”
After a long while, Marilyn intervenes. “Okay, Maddie. Auntie Maeve needs to go.” Maddie reluctantly untangles herself from my arms. Marilyn steps in and gives her a quick hug. “I’ll be back later today,” she tells her.
“Thanks for driving me,” I offer. She’s been kind enough to offer me a ride since Corrie borrowed my car.
She smiles. “Not a problem.”
I reach for Momma, and hold her tightly. “I love you, Momma.”
She slobbers all over my white blouse but I don’t mind. “Me too.” She tears herself from my grasp and quickly runs to the kitchen. She comes right back with a tin. “Don’t forget your cookies. You’re too skinny.”
I shake my head. “You always say that. Marilyn is skinnier than me.”
“Oh, don’t get me started about Marilyn, and all that running around she does.” She sighs. “You promise you’ll visit again soon?”
She says that every time I leave, and every time, I say “yes,” but I usually end up breaking my promise. Not this time. This time I mean it. “Yes,” I say and give her another long hug.
She insists on helping with my suitcase, and between the two of us, we manage to lug it out and throw it in the back of Marilyn’s car. Another tearful hug follows, and then I’m in the car, waving goodbye, and holding in my tears until I’ve driven away. I’m going to miss her. I shoot one last glance at Blake’s house as I wind down the drive.
I’m going to miss him too.
The driveback home is filled with thoughts of my family, of Mandy and Blake, but mostly Blake. I think about the times we’ve shared, past and present, the feel of his touch, the taste of his skin. I revel in the memories of the feel of his soft hair between my fingers, his sweet tongue dancing around mine, and the sensation of him inside me.
When I finally park the car in the lot of my condominium building, I can hardly remember the drive. All the beautiful scenery that I usually appreciate, was lost on me this time.
Too much on my mind.
