Yes, I remember the fights. Both my parents were strong characters, and my dad had a legendary temper. Though they fought a lot, you could always feel the love. They’d always make up, and be more in love than before. We never worried – I know I certainly didn’t. Our house was just like that… loud, brash, and full of passion.
My mother loved my dad more than anyone on earth, and that’s why she was destroyed when he died. Absolutely wrecked. It took me for a loop – seeing my usually strong mother falling to pieces. I just couldn’t handle it. So I ran away, and abandoned the person who loved me the most in this world, for a life I told myself was worth it.
I told myself that Peter loved me just as much, but did he?
I think Momma’s reaction to Daddy’s passing really affected me, affected the way I viewed relationships, made me afraid to love too deeply, to care too much.
“I’ve always loved Blake,” Momma goes on. To my dismay, the Blake Taylor conversation is not over. “He’s such a sweetheart. Did you know he mows my lawn and does all my landscaping? He shovels my snow too. I mean… he’s right next door, and Tim’s pretty far away and so busy. Although Blake is just as busy with all his businesses, yet he still makes the time. And not to mention the fact that he’s given me a job,” she goes on.
“Why didn’t you tell me he owned Jake’s and Main Street Deli?” I ask. “You’ve been holding out on me.”
She sighs audibly. “Well, you asked me not to mention him, so I didn’t. Every time I brought him up, you’d get all touchy.”
“True.” Can’t deny that.
“Did you know that he also makes me homemade muffins every week?”
I smile. “No, I didn’t. I wonder if he makes muffins for all his girlfriends too,” I add, stirring things up a little.
She waves a hand in the air. “He doesn’t have girlfriends.”
“He doesn’t?” I say. “Weren’t you the one who told me you saw a skinny blonde heading out of his house at six in the morning once, and what about last month… it was a redhead, wasn’t it?”
She shakes her head. “Those were just booty calls, Maeve.”
I laugh out loud. For some reason, the words ‘booty call’ coming out of Momma’s mouth are really funny.
“A man has needs, you know.”
“Oh, I know,” I say. Yes, I know all about Blake Taylor’s needs. Actually, I can’t seem to forget about his needs. And mine.
“He never forgets the kids’ birthdays either,” she says, going on with theBlake Taylor is Awesomeshow. “He’s always bringing them treats from the store.”
“I’m sure Marilyn and Brian appreciate the dentist’s bills.”
Momma stops again, her mouth a hard line. She’s a bit peeved now. “I don’t understand why you won’t give the man an inch.”
Oh, I gave him an inch all right. In fact, I let him give me quite a few inches. Over and over again.
I shrug. “Force of habit, I suppose.”
“You should try to be nicer to the man,” she says. “Remember, he lost his father too.”
Okay, I’ll give him a blowie, I almost want to say out loud,because he gives you muffins.
She’s not wrong… I actually should give the man a break. I can still see his face – he was genuinely hurt when I objectified him. I really do want to make it up to him before I leave, hand him an olive branch and all that. Maybe Ishouldgive him a blow job.
No. As much as he would love that, I’m sure, I need to do something more. I need to show him that he’s special to me, that he’s not just a fuck.
Because as much as I want to tell myself that he’s just for fun, I know he’s a lot more than that.
