I toss and turn.I can’t sleep. It’s cold despite the warm cozy flannel pajamas I’m wearing. I’ve been awake in bed for about three hours. Perhaps it’s because my heart hasn’t slowed down since I first heard those noises in the woods, since I saw that majestic buck, since I kissed Blake.
I’m sleeping in the pull-out bed next to the kids, and Blake is in the bed on the other side of the camper, all by his lonesome. I wonder if he’s sleeping, or tossing and turning like me. I wonder if that kiss meant anything at all to him. I’ve replayed the scene in my mind about a dozen times. He drives me crazy – no one else has ever had that effect on me. How dare he call me a good girl? What does he know?
I flush at the memory of his soft gaze on me, of the taste of his sensual lips, the feel of his hand on my cheek, how it felt to be in his hold; warm and safe. I want his warmth now. I want to taste his lips again.
And I want to show him…
I’m not the good girl he thinks I am.
My heart is hammering when I slowly pull the fluffy comforter off me. I swivel around and settle my fuzzy sock covered feet on the cool floor. Damn, it’s cold. The heater’s working but it’s still pretty chilly. It’s also dark. I can barely see where I’m going. Thankfully, he’s only about fifteen feet away. I pad quietly over to his bed, and climb up carefully, and bury myself under the thick duvet covering him.
My heart hammers. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I don’t really know why I’m doing this. To prove a point?
I snuggle in closer and wrap an arm around his lean torso. He’s so warm and he feels so good. I wonder if he can hear my heart pounding. I suddenly feel hot all over, and I wonder if he’ll ever wake up.
I feel a stir, and a second later, he jerks around. His hands land on my face, and he feels the curves of my cheekbones, runs his hands through my hair, like a blind man. His breath is hot. I bring my hands to his hair, reveling in the soft thick strands. I’ve missed his hair. I draw his hot mouth to mine. His kiss is not hesitant this time, it’s wild and powerful and it feels me with need. He holds my bottom lip captive between his teeth.
“Maeve…” he groans. His hand travels to the curve of my waist and down below to my ass. He grabs my fleeced covered rear hard. “What… are… you doing?” he whispers, breathless. His mouth travels to my neck and his tongue licks a slow line up to my ear. My hands travel the length of his torso – he’s wearing a soft t-shirt and flannel lounge pants. I pull up his shirt and run my hands over his hot skin. A growl escapes him as I travel lower. I cup him over his pants – he’s hard. I close my eyes, imagining him inside me, and I get aroused at the thought.
This kiss is nothing like the ones we shared when we were younger. For him, it’s probably very similar, but for me, it’s a whole new ball game. Back then, I didn’t feel sexual desire the way I do now, the ache for a man to be inside you, to desperately want him to make you come.
God, this feels so good, but I know we can’t – the kids are just about fifteen feet away. I was just trying to make a point, but now I’m really second guessing myself.
“I’m not a good girl,” I say in hushed tones, and then pull away abruptly… let’s see what he thinks about that. He reaches for me, and grabs a soft hold of my arm.
“I was wrong,” he whispers. “You haven’t changed at all.” I can’t see his expression, but I can hear the playfulness in his voice. “You’re still a tease.”
I smile as I walk away from him. I feel vindicated. I also feel incredibly turned on, but I’m sure it will pass.
I know I probably won’t be able to fall asleep now, but it was so worth it.
* * *
Blakeand the kids are up early. I’m pretty sure he didn’t get much sleep last night either, and the thought of that makes me incredibly happy for some reason. I hope he’s dreadfully tired all day. I myself, have slept in, and feel pretty refreshed. Blake is cooking up blueberry pancakes, and the smell fills my nostrils. I could get used to this.
“Look who’s finally up,” Blake teases. “Did you guys know your auntie Maeve was such a lazy bum?”
Maddie laughs. She’s setting the table, and Jake is playing a video game on his small device – I think he may be addicted.
“Are you hungry?” Blake asks me. He’s still wearing the same t-shirt and lounge pants he wore to sleep. They bring me back to last night, and a flush rises to my cheeks – I can’t believe I did that.
I walk over to the small washroom right next to the kitchen. It’s close quarters in here, and my bladder is shy for a second, but as I sit quietly and listen to the clatter and chatter outside, it gets going.
Blake shoots me a quick playful look when I step out. He’s probably been thinking about last night all morning.
I settle in at the small kitchen table. “So did uncle Blake tell you we saw a deer last night?”
“A buck,” Jake cheers. “You guys are so lucky! I wish I’d seen it.”
“Maybe we’ll go for a drive at dusk and see if we can spot some,” Blake offers as he hands Maddie her plate of pancakes. They look delicious. He’s even put a little square of butter on top – it’s all in the details. I love his many little thoughtful actions. If only he could be mute, he might be the perfect man.
My stomach is growling by the time I get mine. I dig right in – I’m famished.
Right after breakfast,I quickly check my messages. My stomach drops when a Gmail notification slides down the top of my screen. It’s another email from Peter. I eagerly tap on my Gmail app, hating myself a little. I hate the fact that he still gets to me, that he still makes me excited, curious, and eager to hear from him. I wish I didn’t care. I wish I could just say, “Screw off, Peter. Have a nice life.” After all he’s done to me, I still want him. It makes no sense.
Hello sweetheart,
You didn’t reply to my last message, and I completely understand. After the way I’ve treated you these past weeks, I don’t blame you.
