8
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF.Lifeis aboutcreating yourself. – George Bernard Shaw.
Dear Journal,
I know I’ve been acting kind of immature, but desperate times call for desperate measures, as they say. I’m desperate to get back at Peter. I’ve never been a particularly vengeful person, but then again, I’ve never been so angry. The last time I felt this horrible was when Blake cheated on me in high school. He didn’t have the respect to break up with me first, but by that time, we were pretty much done anyway. I just wanted to run away, and I didn’t feel the need to prove myself to him. Blake knows me so well – I could never fool him. We’ve known each other since we were five years old, when my family moved into this house. With Peter, it’s different. I want to show him that I’m not who he’s decided I am. I can be anyone I want to be.
Maybe my coming here was all about escaping my reality, pretending that everything will be okay and work out just fine. I’ll spend a week here making him jealous, he’ll come running back to me and beg me to take him back. We’ll go back to how it was, and I’ll have the life I want.
Things are never easy, though.
This little game Corrie and I are playing is completely juvenile, but maybe it’s about me wanting to be someone else. Clearly, who I am is not good enough. Not good enough for Peter. Not good enough for Blake.
I think I might just give up on men all together. Who needs them? I have my Momma, my family, and my friends. That’s all I need.
Later, Journal.
M
* * *
I tousle Corrie’s hair.“Are you alive?” I ask. “Tell me you’re alive.”
“I’m… alive,” she grumbles, the words muffled in her pillow.
“Someone had a little too much to drink last night,” I quip. “Someone needs one of my feel good smoothies.”
“Ugh…” she moans.
I hop off the bed. “Trust me, it’ll make you feel better.”
I busy myself making pancakes and smoothies. I don’t feel too badly, considering the night we had – that’s the upside of not drinking too much. Momma is out, watering her garden. She’s not too house proud when it comes to her home’s interior, but her garden is her pride and joy.
Corrie finally makes an appearance – she looks like hell; raccoon eyes, bird’s nest hair, and still wearing last night’s clothes. “Can I have a shower after breakfast?” she asks as she sits down at the kitchen table and taps on her mobile.
“Sure.”
A minute later, her face lights up. “Guess what?!” she says. “Peter liked your photo.”
My heart skips a beat as I slap a pancake on a plate. “Really? Which one?”
“The one of the two of us,” she tells me. “Which means he sawallof them.”
I pour us both glasses of smoothie – I call itFlorida Morning– my own concoction. “You think he’s jealous?”
“I guarantee it. God, look at that one photo of you and Blake… it’s so freakin’ sexy, it makes me a little hot.”
I laugh out loud… the things that come out of Corrie’s mouth sometimes. Speaking of getting hot, I blush a little at the memory of the night before. I can’t even remember the last time I did that.
I hand her a smoothie and a pancake covered with blueberries. “My sister’s coming over later with the kids. Try to behave.”
She laughs. “What? I always behave.”
The kids arein the house before Marilyn. It’s only been a week or so since we last saw each other but they act like they haven’t seen me in months. “Auntie Maeve!” Maddie squeals and throws herself at me for a hug. “Nice to see you.”
I hold her tightly, inhaling that pre-tween little girl smell she has. “Nice to see you too, Maddie.” I smile. “And who do we have here?” I ask.
Jake shuffles shyly to me and gives me a hug. I rustle his hair and get a big grin out of him – he has one of those infectious huge smiles, just like his mother. They’re both so beautiful. Jake looks just like his mom, and Maddie takes more after her dad, Brian, who just happens to be Blake’s older brother.
