Last night… I don’t know how to describe it. Magical? Life-changing? Every word seems like too much and not enough at the same time.
We spent what felt like hours kissing. I can still feel his lips against mine if I think on it for more than half a minute. They were soft and firm all at once. He held my face and my body close to him, and I grabbed onto him and didn’t let go for the longest time.
Maybe it’s because we did things backward. Getting each other off andthenhaving our first kiss is why it lasted so long. Or perhaps all first kisses with a person should take that long, and the boys before him just didn’t know that. They sure as hell didn’t know how to kiss if I’m comparing them to what happened last night. Which I am. There weren’t many, and the experiences were limited, but not a single one gave me all the feelings when they touched their lips to mine. None of them curled me into their arms after and slept with me so tightly that there wasn’t room for any nightmares to invade.
The ride from his place to this one—I guess it’s his mother’s home, though I’m not entirely sure—didn’t take long. Then again, I was too lost in my own thoughts to worry if I chose the right outfit or to concern myself with how long it took to get out here. All I know is that we left the city behind, and the estate we’re pulling up to is something I could never have imagined.
We park behind a row of other cars that seem to all stop at the middle of a round driveway. Tommy jumps from the car, and I take another breath.
Just remember, this is part of the job.
He opens the door and holds out a hand, which I gratefully accept, as the ground is gravel and the heels I picked, while somewhat short, slide a bit on the small pebbles.
“This a private event?”
He pulls me a step away from the car to shut the door, then stops.
“Private?” He squints, then widens his eyes as realization dawns. “No.” He shakes his head as a smile spreads over his lips. “It’s a small thing. Like I said, just lunch that Mama prepared.”
“Afamigliaevent,” I say once more, clarifying. He might have told me things before, but I wasn’t paying any attention. If this is an event I’m meant to do a job at, even if that means I’ll just stand there and look pretty, I want to make sure I understand it.
“Afamilyevent. Mama, my brothers, and I’m sure a cousin or two will show. They always do if Mama is cooking. She likes to have these small gatherings to see us boys all at once. We don’t all come out here often, and it’s her way of making sure she can see we’re all safe and sound.”
He takes a step closer, pushing me back against the car. I scan the house windows behind him to see if anyone can see. While I’m owned by him, I don’t know where that leaves us with how things ended last night. Was that part of the job to pay back my money or something else? If it was something else, should I keep it between us to avoid his brothers beingmad? They didn’t all seem to enjoy meeting me the other day. And from the way Bobby spoke, he either had an issue with my job or the debt I owe.
I might not know any of them, but I know Tommy. He’s giving me everything in such a short time. I would hate to be the reason for any strife in his life.
“Relax.” He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear but doesn’t take his hand away. Instead, he pinches my earlobe and then rubs it, soothing it and me, forcing me to take a deep breath and let out my worries. Well, as much as I can.
Having Tommy close is a worry in itself. He’s a danger. Not to society—though I’m sure others would say differently—but to my heart. Because it’s opening up to him after I shut it down the day I found my parents dead in our kitchen.
“Good girl.”
I look into his eyes and see a lightness there. It wasn’t there last night, but I don’t begrudge it. I think it’s because he’s here with family. Well, soon enough, at least. He needs this time with family, just like I need to feel safe in my own skin again.
I look him over. Not sure if he did it on purpose, but we almost match. The pale pink wrap around my dress has a navy blue sash to add a bit of color. The same color polo that he has on, which is buttoned all the way up.
I move my fingers between us and undo the top buttons, loosening the collar so he can breathe. Something I noticed he does only when he’s alone with me.
“Perhaps you should take your own advice,” I say with a small smile as I look at him through my eyelashes, hoping I didn’t just make a huge mistake.
Instead, he kisses my lips briefly, then grabs my hand, interlocks my fingers with his, and leads me into his family’s home.
Chapter 27—Tommy
Ihold her hand tight to me, not because I’m afraid she’ll run, but to keep my own hands from shaking. I’m bringing home a girl. To my mama. For Sunday lunch. A few days ago, it was just an idea to shift the thought of matchmaking from me to another brother for Mama’s focus. But after last night? Fuck, things have changed.
She’s inexperienced. Immensely so. But though she lacks technique, her enthusiasm makes everything even more memorable for me. I’ve had more experiences than I should probably admit, but only one has stayed in my mind longer than a few hours.
And we didn’t even have sex.
Sure, we could have, but just having that closeness with her last night, holding her in my arms all night long, went way beyond that.
I rub my free hand over my face.God, Danny would call me a fucking pansy. If my brothers could read minds, I’d be screwed. They’d never let me live this down. Hell, the fact that I have feelings at all would probably cause enough distress.
The door opens before we get to it, and there, standing in all his glory, is Bobby. He’s grinning at me, making it very clear that he’s seeing everything. To include that I’m holding hands with a girl. A girl who owes me a debt and who works at my club.
Complicateddoesn’t even begin to describe what’s going on here. And I don’t give a fuck.
