“Cammie, this is Uncle Drew. Remember he came in for Christmas last year.”
“No,” she repeats.
I sigh. “Sorry, Drew. She’s been really clingy lately.” I don’t add that she’s had to see her father screaming at me and it has changed her. That’s the main reason I filed for divorce. I’d grown numb to his cheating. His denials telling me nothing was happening, and it was all in my imagination still echo in my head late at night. Buried the deepest, however, is catching him with Serena, my ex-best friend.
I push those thoughts away when I look down at Cammie and notice she’s staring intently at Pez. She reaches her hands out and cries out, “I want him!” I gasp before I can stop it, completely shocked.
“What the he—” I give Drew a sharp look to shut him up. “What the heck,” he qualifies, and I smile for the first time in longer than I can remember.
Pez steps up and reaches out his hands to Cammie. She tries to jump from my hold into his. He laughs and takes her into his arms like an old pro. I frown watching them. “She, uh, doesn’t usually take to strangers,” I explain, thinking I should take her back as soon as possible. I hold out my hands to do just that, but the guy just sidesteps me.
“It’s okay. She and I will get acquainted while you get ready for dinner,” he says. He walks over to the area in front of the sofa where Cammie’s toys are strewn everywhere. He lets her down so she can slide in behind the coffee table and start withher blocks again. Then, this giant of a man, plops down beside my daughter and starts gathering blocks. “Do you want to build a castle?”
Cammie claps her hands, and I can’t see the front of his face, but I’m pretty sure he’s smiling. “Yes! A big one just like in Frozen!”
“Then, that’s exactly what we’ll do,” he laughs. Cammie claps her hands excitedly. This stranger is showing her more tenderness than Dane has ever shown her, and that’s a sad fact that I’m going to have to live with. I definitely didn’t pick well when I chose my daughter’s father. In my defense, I didn’t know what a lying scumbag he was until it was much too late. I stayed with him after Cammie was born, hoping he’d see the beautiful little girl that we created—one that needed a complete family. If choosing Dane was my first big mistake, the second was staying with that asshole, hoping he’d change. That ended when I realized his latest flavor of the month was Serena. She was the one person I had to vent to—my supposed best friend. Serena knew how much Dane’s infidelities destroyed me. The two of them together nearly crushed me. It was a betrayal from both sides—one I couldn’t run from. So, I filed for divorce. I’m not sure why he let me stay in the house, but he didn’t fight it. I know he has an angle, and I find myself living day to day—just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Go ahead, Daph,” Drew urges. “Pez is good people. Plus, I’m here.”
I swallow nervously. My brother thinks I’m worried about leaving my daughter alone with a stranger. Of course he is. I should be worried about that. Instead, I’m wishing I’d chosen someone like him to be Cammie’s father instead of Dane. I shake my head, I’m a mess.
“Okay,” I respond quietly. Turning to walk back to my bedroom, I find myself wishing I could go back and makedifferent choices. It’s not possible, I know that, but it never stops me from wondering just how different my life would be if I had …
Chapter 4
Pez
A bolt of fucking lightning.
That’s what it felt like the first time I laid eyes on Cap’s baby sister. It’s like a bolt of lightning came down from above and struck me so hard that it pierces my damn heart bringing it to life after a year of it not beating at all. I know that sounds fanciful as hell, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. I felt frozen inside when I left Tennessee. Now, I joke, function and interact with my new brothers. I’ve earned my stripes and position in the club. I work hard, but that’s it. When the door closes at night, I’m alone and honestly that’s how I’ve wanted it to be. Until minutes ago, when a gorgeous red head, with emerald-green eyes that have far too many circles under them, grabbed my attention. It came as a surprise to me a year ago, when my buddy from the service called and I told him what had happened with Nora and where I was at now. To find out that was being trained to take over his father’s role in the club threw me for a loop. Seeing how Sabre barely held himself together through the day—until he could drown in a bottle every night—made me understand why Cap never took his leave to come home.
Then, one day I asked Sabre about his daughter. The pain and anger that morphed on his face was something I had neverseen. Instead, it was something I felt. It brought me back to the night that I saw Nora—in our bed—letting another man into her body, giving what was supposed to be only mine. I don’t know what he’s been through, but his wife had left him, so I wondered if he and I aren’t that different. I didn’t delve, but I began to look after him from time to time. Then, Cap mentioned it was his niece’s birthday and he hated that he was missing her party. So, I asked Sabre if he’d like me to go with him to his granddaughter’s birthday. He said he wasn’t going. When I pressed him, he said he didn’t have a place in his daughter’s life any longer and slammed the door in my face. I reached out to Cap. I watched, but he never to my knowledge reached out to his daughter. So, I contacted Cap again.
That’s the real reason he came in.
The minute we pulled up to the large, one-story, brick, home, I knew there were problems. The grass was growing wild and so high that it rivaled the top of my motorcycle boots for dominance. The flowerbeds—that I could tell were once fixed with love—were now overgrown jungles. The windows were grimy, and the front porch was unadorned. What really gave it away, however, was the roof that looked about three years too late for a new one, and the banisters on the steps that were dilapidated and in need of repair. Cap had cursed under his breath as we moved to the front and then she answered the door, and my world tilted on its axis.
Which all brings me to where I’m at now. Still feeling the zing of the mythical lightning bolt, staring at the woman that I instantly want more than anything or anyone I’ve ever wanted in my life. It’s a hunger that I’ve never felt before and even though I don’t have an explanation, it’s there and with each moment in front of her, it gets stronger. I don’t understand, but I also know that there’s been something living inside of me driving me to make sure Daphne was okay. It sounds stupid, butsomething has always pulled me to take care of her. Every single time that Sabre spoke about her, I wanted to drive out and find her. Cap laughed at me for bringing it up. Yet, in my fucking soul, I knew Daphne needed someone. I’m mad at myself for not listening to the voice in my head that told me to reach out to her.
For that reason alone, it’s not redemption I feel at being proven right.It’s anger. For the last six months or so, I could have been doing things to help Daphne and her daughter—instead of concentrating my efforts on Sabre. Sure, he needed help, but if he can let this happen to his daughter and grandchild, then I can’t drum up the interest in caring about him right now.
“Can we make dragons?” Cammie asks, making me laugh.
“That one might be a little hard. Next time I’m at the store, I’ll buy us some and we can put them in front of the castle. Okay?”
“Yeah! I love dragons,” she practically giggles.
Cammie’s a beautiful little girl with curly red hair like her mom, but hazel eyes and chubby cheeks. It’s clear Daphne makes sure that Cammie eats good. The same couldn’t be said for her. The clothes she wore, hung sadly on her too-thin frame. As beautiful as she was, I could tell that she was a broken woman barely keeping her head above water. She was close to the edge, and I have no plan on letting her fall over it.
“Then it’s a deal,” I purr, roughing up her hair slightly and giving her a real smile. It seems like a lifetime since I’ve even felt like smiling. She turns to her blocks but looks over her shoulder at me with a big grin that was missing two teeth. It was the sweetest smile that I’d ever seen in my life, and I grinned back at her. That was apparently all she wanted, because she continued helping me build the so-called castle. It hurts to admit, but I’m not sure I’m good at this block building crap.
“I didn’t know you were good with kids,” Cap says, bending down to join me and Cammie.
“I didn’t either,” I admit. It’s not like I’ve been surrounded by them in my life. I won’t deny that I’m strangely happy right now though.
“Something bad is going on,” Cap whispers, keeping the anger out of his voice to protect Cammie’s sensitive ears. “You were right.”
I nod. There’s really nothing to say to that. We continue talking with Cammie and playing. Somehow Cap even got her attention here and there. I smiled because it was clear she still gravitated toward me. It shouldn’t have felt like I was winning some kind of prize and yet, it did.
