“Mom you’re looking beautiful as ever,” I murmured while hugging her. The words are said without thought, as I watch my dad walk over to where Cammie and Eli are talking and playing with blocks. Eli has somehow managed to calm Cammie down and has her laughing.
I’m not lying about my mother. She is gorgeous. We probably look more like sisters than mother and daughter. Part of that is because her doctor husband is rich and likes having a younger looking wife, so plastic surgery has kept her looking closer to my age. Part of it is just that Mom has always been beautiful. I’m not really sure she was ever meant to be a mother. She loved us in her own way, but sometimes it felt more like she was going through the motions. Dad once said her parents were kind of monsters. Maybe she just never really had a mom herself. I push those thoughts away. She’s adopted a more older sister vibe with me over the years and as weird as it sounds, it mostly works.
“Who’s the man with Cammie?”
“That’s Eli. He took over Dad’s position with the Devil’s Blaze,” I explain, taking the expensive gift bags from her hands and putting them beside the bags that Eli and Dad brought. The difference is theirs aren’t expensive gift bags they’re just large store bags that have two crudely wrapped gifts a piece in them. Looking at them makes me smile. I have no doubt that Eli wrapped them himself. I’m sure he bought Dad’s gifts too, but that just makes me smile more. He wanted Cammie happy, and in a way, he was protecting my father. My gaze moves back over to them. They’re laughing with Cammie and my heart feels full. Ipray my father manages to pull himself out of the hole he’s been in and be there for my daughter, in ways he hasn’t been for me in a very long time.
“I was wondering when they would get around to kicking him out of the club,” Mom mutters under her breath.
“Mom, stop. They didn’t kick him out. Dad stepped down. He’s still a member.”
“He probably only agreed to step down cause he knew what was coming,” she says with a careless shrug. “He’s not half the man he used to be.”
I don’t bother trying to explain that she’s the same. I never met Latch, but I think they both loved him so much that losing him twisted something up in both of them. It’s a shame they couldn’t hold onto one another—instead of tearing each other apart.
“Mom, can we forget about everything and just make sure that Cammie has a good day? She’s already been put through too much having to deal with Dane and his new whore,” I hiss quietly.
“Dane was here?” she asks, surprised.
“Yeah. The court said he could come to Cammie’s birthday party since he wasn’t cleared to have visitation without being supervised. I agreed because I wanted Cammie to be happy. Of course, he showed and caused trouble. He also didn’t bother to bring his own daughter a birthday present. Meanwhile, Serena is dripping in designer clothes, bags and jewelry.”
“All of that should have been yours, Daphne. Maybe you should think about changing.”
“Changing?” I parrot like a fool, not grasping what she’s talking about. “Why would I change?”
“Because, honey. Dane is a man with a lot of money and power. They want a certainkindof wife. I think that was a lot of the issues in your marriage. When Cammie was born youconcentrated all your efforts on motherhood. Dane felt slighted and began to look elsewhere to have his needs met. It sucks, but it is up to the woman to keep the fire alive in a relationship. That’s the only reason someone like Serena had a chance of taking Dane from you.”
I look at her for a moment completely dumbstruck. When had she changed so much? The mother I remember was cold at times, but she was never like this. I shake my head. “I really don’t want to talk about this right now, Mom,” I huff.
“Baby,” she says, clearly placating me, as she puts her hand on my shoulder. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m just saying that I’ve learned a lot over the years. You can still have Dane. All you have to do is remind him of the woman you are—not the mother. Why do you think I make sure there’s no gray in my hair? Or that I keep my figure so that I can still fit in the same size jeans I wore before you were born? How about the fact that I keep my face and body looking youthful? I’m not even going to tell you about how much I spend monthly on lingerie and clothes to keep the excitement going between me and Nathan. I can help you get your husband back, Daphne. You can have your family back intact.”
“Do you know what all that sounds like to me, Mom? Exhausting. If you can’t be yourself around Nathan, what in the world do you get out of that relationship?”
“Nathan and I are very happy together, Daphne. I’m just trying to make you see that you have to work for things sometimes.”
“Are you still going to be happy when you are twenty years older and no matter what you do, those wrinkles stay? The skin sags? What then, Mom?”
“Daphne Ann!” she snaps, letting me know that I’ve broken through at least a little of her shell.
“I really don’t want to discuss this with you. You live your life the way you want. That’s your choice. This is mine. I need you to understand that. I want a man who sees me the way I am and embraces that. No matter what, Cammie will always come first. I don’t want a man who doesn’t respect that—especially if that man is her own father. I love you, Mom. I just want you to be happy. I’ll only say that you seemed much happier before Nathan, and I missthatwoman.”
“Now. Let’s see what Cammie is building with Dad and Eli. I think, with the day she’s had, she deserves a party where the complete focus is on her and making her happy,” I explain and then I walk away to join my daughter.
Mom follows a few minutes later. She seems subdued, but I also notice that she’s nicer, less bitchy and even manages to laugh at one of my dad’s jokes—along with the rest of us. It’s not much, but it feels like a good omen for the rest of the day and that’s all that matters.
Chapter 15
Sabre
I’ve fuckedup so much. I’m not sure I realized it was possible to feel as lost as I do. I’ve been so busy drowning my sorrows in a bottle, that I didn’t even know my daughter was busy going through hell. I had lost touch with my beautiful granddaughter and have just been letting the world pass me by. I need to fix that. Today is the first day in a very fucking long time that I haven’t had a drink. I’m starting to feel that itch, but I tamp it down. I need to be present so that I can help Daphne. I once viewed her as a betrayal from the two people I loved most in this world. Now, I know that I was fucking wrong. Daphne is the only person that truly matters from my past. I once loved Annie, but even before Latch died, there were cracks in our relationship. She had this hunger to be the center of everything. She got mad if I put the club first. She got mad if Latch and I wanted to be alone together. She got mad if we went away on club business together. There were hundreds of things that seemed to piss her off—to the point that even though I did my best to overlook them, to not think about it and pretend everything was fine…it wasn’t.When I almost died while helping my president and the club, I reworked my priorities. Annie was the love of my life. She grew up in some twisted version of happiness. I needed to makeallowances for that. Latch was a man that I loved as much as, if not more than, Annie. A lot of people didn’t get that type of relationship, but it was true. Latch and I may not have been attracted to one another sexually, but we loved each other deeply. It satisfied me completely being with him. We would share a woman when we wanted sex, but that’s all it was. We had each other for everything else. Hell, it was the same for him. We tried once to kiss, to touch, to see if we could bring one another pleasure. It didn’t happen for either of us. Hell, we couldn’t even get hard. That’s actually how we discovered that sharing a woman brought us more pleasure than we’d ever known in bed.
I never meant to fall for Annie. She took me by complete surprise. I knew introducing her to Latch was a gamble. To find out that Annie wanted him, came to care for him, it was a happy surprise—especially when it became clear that Latch had feelings for her too. The three of us were happy and Latch and I made one rule. It would only be the three of us in the bedroom. If it became just me and Annie or him and Annie, it changed the dynamic.
Early on I had taken Annie to bed alone, but once the three of us were solid that stopped. So, when I came back to my wife and my best friend, I decided to put away the unsettling feeling that Annie’s demands put on me. Her and Latch were all that I needed. We had a son together. I was the biological father, but it could have just as easily been Latch. We only found out because Drew needed blood, and Latch couldn’t be a donor. Drew had the same rare blood type as I did. I was afraid Latch would be upset, but he wasn’t. He loved Drew regardless, and part of me hated the fact that my body didn’t want to lose itself in him the way it did with Annie. Yet, this thing between the three of us was good. I didn’t love her like I loved Latch, but I did love her …
I push those thoughts away. I can’t think about losing Latch, about the breakup with Annie, about losing the life that I trulybelieved would be mine forever. I only have here and now, and I’ve failed, Latch, Daphne and Cammie. I need to fix that. My gaze moves to the adjoining kitchen and my ex-wife standing by the breakfast bar, talking to Daphne. The two of us failed each other. In the end, it destroyed us, but I need to put that behind me, too.
“You okay, Sabre?” Pez asks me.
