There’s silence. Slowly, my own words echo in my mind, like the slow yawning of hell opening to swallow me whole. Embarrassment hits me hard, nearly dousing the heat that flared at the tantalizing fantasy my words evoked. All hopes that they couldn’t understand my slurring evaporate with the glint of amusement in Valen’s eyes. At least Lucas is staring down at me withWhat the fuck did she say?written across his face.
My face is burning. I rip out of Lucas’ hold and nearly fall to the ground. He snatches my bicep and it’s the only thing that saves me from a damaging fall. Thank all the nonexistent gods that Valen is so talented at the healing arts. I barely feel the sting of pain from my wound. I stagger like a newborn fawn before getting my numb feet under me.
“You know what.” Another dangerous sway, but I rip my arm free. “No. I’m going to bed. Alone.” I stumble into my room, the words coming out too fast. “Do whatever you want. Maybe. Okay. Night!”
I slam the bedroom door shut and thump my forehead against it. I’m going to hate myself in the morning.
CHAPTER 17
Sleep claims me like a great clawed beast three steps from the bedroom door. I go down in a deadweight, my shoulder hitting the ground first and softening the blow to my skull. There I lie until a softtskwakes me.
The warm embrace of Valen’s magic lifts me into his arms. Underneath the blood and acrid odor of spent magic is the lingering scent of his cologne. I breathe in the spice deeply, my nose pressing against the base of his throat. My exhale brushes over it and his skin ripples in goosebumps.
I blink and the softness of the bed heats me, the thick blankets pulled nearly to my chin. My armsburnand my breath shudders. Sweat slicks my hair and my throat works rhythmically. Hands soothe me and tip my head back. A blurry vision of blue eyes and dark hair flashes before my dry eyes. Sickly sweet potions fill my mouth and it takes me a moment to gulp them down.
Another blink and those blue eyes are now honey brown. Something that has a sharp zest with curd lumps is in my mouth. I grimace and swallow. The tang dissolves and my knotted stomach releases. I sigh blissfully, tilting my head back to sink deep in the pillows.
I shift. My bandages unwind. Icy cool ointment eases the raw and burning curse scars. Magic shivers over me. My skin tightens and pulls. Slowly, I’m knitted back together until there’s nothing but pink lines.
I smile as a soft cloth wipes away the dirt and blood. Euphoric bliss hums delightfully in my skull. I reach out, catching Valen by the back of the neck when he leans over me to continue his cleansing. With a tug, he lowers easily and his warm mouth slides over mine. I hum into the familiarity of the kiss, the heat licking up my insides. His hand catches in my chemise when he runs up it, stopping below the curse scar under my left breast.
Slowly, he disentangles himself and laughs softly against my persistent mouth. “Sleep, Tori.” His fingers wind with mine, careful of where my skin recently knit back together, and pin them on either side of my head. His lips brush mine. “Later.”
Then he pulls back, leaving me cold and bereft. My hands twitch, feeling better, and I reach for him again when the bed shifts. But the shirt I brush against is different. There’s no trace of the sharp starch I touched a moment ago, but a soft, worn cotton. My fists twist in it and I pull, bringing the body down on mine. I ache less, as if I’ve rested for hours instead of seconds, but the potions’ haze still lingers.
A shocked gasp tingles my lips and I swallow it down with a kiss. It’s different; the lips don’t have the fullness I’m used to, and unshaved scruff scratches my skin. But, oh, how the heatblooms. Greedily, I wind my arms around the wider shoulders, nails cutting into a thicker neck.
The lips I kiss hesitate, the body tugging back, but my tongue slides along the seam and finally they part. I groan into it and strong hands slide down my arms to slither under my back. They arch me into the heaviness that falls on me. My thin chemisedoes nothing to stop the heat that sears me and my heart does a painful flutter that shivers my breath.
The lips try to pull back, those arms under me shifting to let go, and yet, each of my starved kisses is returned as I press against him. He shakes his head, either to try to clear it or to disagree, but my teeth sink into his lip and the groan that vibrates draws my rubbing thighs up. The weight crushes me, his mouth opening, and I slide my tongue in to lick deeply. That large, strong body shivers, arms tightening, but he suddenly shoves back.
“No. I can’t. It’s wrong.”
The deep, familiar baritone arches me to him, my hands fisting into his shirt in a white-knuckled grip. “Come back…” I tug, but the body doesn’t move closer. “I want you…”
A pain-filled breath sags the shoulders, and for an elated moment, I believe he’s about to fall upon me again, but his strained tone aches my heart. “If only that were true.”
Then he rips out of my hold and a cry of despair chokes me. I reach for the heat blindly, my eyelids still too heavy to lift. Nothing but cold air greets me and my arms flop back down, a sob stretching my chest painfully.
Waking is a nightmare. Cold seizes my chest. I kissed Lucas. And worse, it wasincredible.
I squeeze my eyes shut. That kiss—ohfuck, that kiss—was a taste of forbidden fruit. It’s left my body craving more in a visceral, constant ache that pulses between my thighs with each drum of my heart.Fuck!
It was better than I imagined, and I’ve spent many lonely nights imagining it with my hands between my thighs, biting my lip to keep from crying out his name. Now, it’s all I can think about, all I can breathe. We’ve kissed once and we’re boundto do it again. Hell, I wasn’t supposed to kiss Valen, and he finger fucked me until I came in front of my friend. How are we supposed to go back to normal now? Is it even possible?
There’s only one thing I can do to save the partnership. With a deep, trembling breath, I permit myself to relive Lucas’ kiss for one last moment. One moment of feeling the weighted heat of him, the slide of his lips, the sound of his groan, and then I shove it away. Violently. I force it deep into my mind, gathering the memory of the library with it, until I slam them into a lockbox.
I release my exhale in a rush, body going lax from the mental effort. I was high on potions. That is all. And when he brings it up, I’ll act confused. It’s what must be done for our friendship. For Peripeteia.
Slowly, I open my eyes and ease up to sitting.
“How are you feeling?” says a voice to my right.
My neck cracks from the force of whipping around. I hiss, rubbing it, and Valen’s lips tilt in amusement. One of the armchairs is pulled up to the bed and he rests elegantly in it with a book propped up on his knee. Once again, he’s in his black slacks and white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbow.
I clear my throat, the pressure between my thighs worsening. “Better.” My voice rasps terribly. I reach for the water glass on the bedside table and down it. “How long was I out?”
“A day and a half. Your body needed time to heal.”
