Fuck.
Fuck, shit.Fuck.
I spun left and right, like some bumbling thief in a crime movie. This was not good.
Behind me, I heard the front door slam against the wall. Seconds later, two people I recognized as her friends, Eames and Olivia, came barreling in. They also brandished makeshift weapons, but had…dildos? Eames had a long, purple tentacle. Olivia brandished a monster dildo.
A few seconds later, Shay followed, coming to a skittering stop behind Olivia and Eames, holding a long, thick, and spiky lime-green dildo.
“Oh my god,” she said. “Is today Saturday?”
Olivia and Eames stuttered at her question, with her sister Lilith shooting her a look like,What the fuck is wrong with you?
“You picked the wrong house, motherfucker,” Olivia said, returning her attention to me.
Shay’s eyes found mine. Her mouth dropped, eyes wide, grip slipping on the dildo.
Then Olivia and Eames ran at me.
“Wait!” Shay called out. “I’m fucking him!”
chapter
forty-two
SHAY
Pasta water boiled over onto the stove, hissing loudly in the otherwise silent kitchen.
Fuck. This wassobad.
Saturday. Today wasSaturday.
“You’refuckingthepredator?” My sister’s narrowed eyes bounced from me and back to Calder. Calder moved to take off his mask, and Lithie stabbed the uncooked pasta toward him. He froze.
“He’s not a predator!” I said. “It’s Calder. It’s the guy from the app.”
“That makes this even less okay,” Eames said, the dildo in his hand bouncing as he spun to face me. And then I realizedIwas still holding one.
We’d had them out forscience.
Olly was certain the anatomy described for the hero in our latest book was physically impossible, so Eames took out his stash to prove her wrong.
“You met with him once and he broke into your building?” Eames spun back from me to him, brandishing the dildo without shame.
“Yeah,” Olly added. “Have you heard of, I don’t know, sending flowers?”
Calder opened his mouth, but after shooting a glance at my sister, he closed it quickly.
“It’s my fault,” I said, as much explanation for them as it was an apology to him. “I got the dates mixed up. You weren’t supposed to be here, Lithie. Iagreedto this.”
Calder had even confirmed the date with me. I had no excuse other than the fact that I occasionally forgot what day it was.
It hadn’t ever been an issue…
Until now.
They groaned in unison.
