Zoe lowered her tone to match Maisie’s. ‘About Fern? You’ll have to, sooner or later. Unless you’ve changed your mind?’
‘No, I haven’t, but…she’ll be so angry.’
‘Won’t she be sad more than angry?’ Zoe asked.
‘I suppose,’ Maisie said, looking down at Ezra, who’d thankfully stopped crying and was now drifting off to sleep in her arms. ‘She’ll shout either way. I don’t know what she’ll do when I’m gone.’
‘I’m sure she doesn’t either. Every mother knows their child will leave home one day. It’s sad, but it’s a fact of life. It’s how things are meant to be.’
‘I know.’
‘When’s your appointment?’
‘Next week. Thursday, I think – I’ve got the letter upstairs in my room.’
‘Would you like me to take you? Billie could come for moral support.’
Maisie hesitated and then shook her head. ‘I’d better ask Mum to come with me. We can get the bus. She doesn’t mean to be awkward, you know; it’s just how she is.’
‘I know,’ Zoe said, her smile of reassurance coming easier now. ‘Is there anything else you need to talk to me about before I go?’
‘I don’t think so. Ezra’s OK? He’s put enough weight on?’
‘He’s doing brilliantly.’ Zoe put a hand on Maisie’s arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘As are you. I’m so proud to see how far you’ve come since I first met you.’
As soon as she’d said it, Zoe wondered if her praise had sounded patronising. Billie would have said so, though Zoe certainly didn’t mean it to be.
Maisie simply beamed. ‘Thanks.’
Zoe called a farewell to Bridget as she stepped out of the front door, though she received no reply. Somewhere in the house, she was sulking – or perhaps reflecting on things that had been said. Whichever it was, Zoe hoped the outcome would be a good one, the best one for all of them.
Zoe arrived back at the surgery with half an hour to spare before lunch. After a quick clear-out of her files, she wondered if she ought to text Alex to see how things were there. But she wasn’t sure how they stood, despite them both doing their best to move on from the difficult conversations they’d had during the weekend. What could she say that wouldn’t sound as if she doubted him? But was she right to doubt him? Should she address that there might still be problems, or would doing that revive problems they’d already put to bed?
Her fingers were hovering over the keyboard when there was a knock on the door.
‘I’m free,’ she called. ‘Come on in.’
Shabana gave a nervous smile as she stepped in and closed the door. ‘I don’t suppose I can ask you about something?’
‘Of course you can…What’s troubling you?’
‘It’s this virus that everyone is catching. I know it’s mostly a short-lived thing, but it won’t harm the baby if I catch it, will it? I’ve seen so many patients this week who’ve had it or hadsomeone in their household with it, I just know I’m going to get it at some point too, and I’m worried it will?—’
Zoe gestured for Shabana to take a seat. ‘What you’ve been through to get pregnant, it’s natural you’re going to be cautious. Honestly, I want to say it will be all right, but as you know, there are plenty of viruses that we don’t know much about. I’d err on the side of optimism in this case. Billie, Louisa and Alex have all had it, and they weren’t too ill. More than that, they shook it off pretty quickly and there don’t seem to be any lasting effects, so that’s encouraging.’ She paused to offer Shabana her most reassuring smile. ‘I’m here, and if you have any concerns, you only have to knock on my door. Do you feel all right at the moment?’
‘Yes. Probably better than I thought I would in early pregnancy. I haven’t been sick or anything. I can’t say I like it – I wish I would be sick.’
‘I know a few women who would think you’re mad if they heard you say that.’
‘I know, but I’m having a hard time believing I am actually pregnant because I don’t feel it. I read somewhere that your pregnancy is stronger if you are sick.’
‘Don’t believe half of what you read online,’ Zoe said. ‘There’s no actual hard evidence of that being true.’
‘But you know about it?’
‘I’ve heard it said, yes. I prefer to treat each pregnancy as its own special case rather than trying to classify one type as better than another. I’ve got a mum who’s been hospitalised because she couldn’t stop being sick, so I’m not sure she’d agree that her pregnancy is stronger for it.’
‘I suppose you’re right. I’m so desperate for this to work I’m scared of my own shadow right now.’
