Maisie put down her phone. Zoe could sense Bridget hovering by the door as she went to scoop Ezra out of his basket and laid him gently onto a changing mat.
‘Shall I take off his romper now?’ Maisie whispered.
Zoe got out her scales, nodding. ‘If you could.’
‘I suppose you’d like the heating turning up,’ Bridget said from the doorway.
‘Not particularly,’ Zoe replied. ‘Hopefully he won’t be without his clothes for long, and it’s not too bad in here as it is.’
While Maisie did her best to get Ezra undressed without waking him, Zoe set up the scales. Every so often, she glanced across, pleased to see how gentle Maisie was and how confident she was becoming handling her little boy already. He stirred once or twice, even opened his eyes a crack, but then settled as she hushed him with a soft hand to his chest.
‘This will be the test.’ Zoe finished her task and undid Ezra’s nappy. ‘They tend not to like this bit, so he might well wake up.’
She slipped it off, expecting him to erupt into a noisy protest, but amazingly he slept on. It was as she was lowering him onto the scales that he almost roused. His arms and legs began to pump, and his eyes opened, but Zoe noted the weight as quickly as she could and then nodded for Maisie to scoop him up and get him dressed again. He made weak complaints as she did, but assoon as she was done and held him close, his eyes drooped, and before she’d rocked him half a dozen times, he’d dozed off again.
‘That wasn’t too bad in the end,’ Zoe said. ‘He’s filling out nicely too. Thriving, in fact. You’re doing everything right.’
Maisie beamed as she peered down at him.
‘You should put him back in the cot.’ Bridget’s voice came from the doorway again. They’d been so preoccupied with Ezra that Zoe had quite forgotten Maisie’s mum was still there. ‘You’ll make him mardy carrying him around all the time.’
‘I read something that says it makes them feel safe…’ Maisie looked to Zoe for confirmation, and she nodded.
‘I’m sure it won’t make him mardy. It’ll certainly help to strengthen your bond, and it’s actually as good for you to have lots of contact as it is for Ezra. The relationship between mum and baby is a very complicated one, and what you do often affects you as much as it does your little one.’
‘I still say you should put him down,’ Bridget said sourly. ‘He needs to learn to sleep on his own.’
Maisie hesitated, but then, with a look of defeat that pulled at Zoe’s already compromised emotions, placed Ezra gently into the Moses basket. ‘I suppose my arms are aching anyway.’
Zoe watched Maisie’s expression carefully as she backed towards where she’d left her bag, trying to gauge how she was feeling. Bridget could be overbearing, something Zoe had been forced to combat right the way through Maisie’s pregnancy. It seemed that even after Ezra’s birth, not much had changed, though, now Zoe considered it, she wondered why she would expect anything else. She’d hoped, in vain, judging by the evidence of today, that Bridget’s attitude to Maisie and her son would soften.
Distracted by her careful observation, she didn’t notice how close she was to a tall set of bookshelves. They housed a mad collection of household items – vases, bowls, mismatchedplates and tacky ornaments, framed photos and a letter holder stuffed with yellowing papers – everything except books. She spun to feel for the bag she remembered leaving at its foot, but misjudged the distance and collided with the shelves. She soon discovered that they weren’t attached to the wall, and at any other time, she’d have given a stern warning about doing so before Ezra started to crawl. As it was, the danger was confined to the immediate moment – the unit wobbled violently, and though Zoe managed to put a panicked hand to it to steady it again, half of the items on its shelves crashed to the ground.
She clapped a hand to her mouth and stooped to start collecting things, tears pricking her eyes as she noted that many of them had broken. It wasn’t like her to cry, even at such a disaster, but she hadn’t been right for some time, and this was another sign of it. ‘Oh God, I’m so sorry!’
‘Get out of the way!’ Bridget snapped, shoving her aside. ‘I’ll clear it up – you’ve done enough damage!’
‘I’m sorry,’ Zoe repeated. ‘Let me help.’
‘You can help by getting gone! You’re done with Ezra, aren’t you?’
‘Yes, but…’ Zoe glanced up, and the look on Bridget’s face told her the best thing to do might be to flee the scene, just this once.
It was as she stood up and began to search for her things that something occurred to her. Despite all the commotion, baby Ezra was still sound asleep. A noise as loud as she’d just made ought to have roused him, even if he’d nodded back off. In fact, it ought to have shocked him, but he was so peaceful, Zoe had to wonder if he’d noticed anything at all.
‘Maisie,’ she asked carefully, the ignominy of her recent accident temporarily forgotten, ‘is the house often noisy?’
‘It is while you’re here,’ Bridget said from the floor, where she was trying to screw the hat back on the tattered figurine of a flamenco dancer.
Zoe ignored the remark because she suddenly had more important things to worry about.
‘I don’t know,’ Maisie said. ‘About the same as everyone’s probably.’
‘But if it’s noisy, does it bother Ezra?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Maisie said blankly.
She wasn’t following Zoe’s train of thought, and Zoe couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not. Before she’d fully considered the implications, Zoe clapped her hands together, as close to Ezra as she dared.
