‘I don’t think you’re wrong.’
Zoe raised her eyebrows. ‘Not even a bit, not even in this instance?’
‘I don’t know what was said, so I’m not going to side with either one of you. If you say Louisa is all right, then I trust you.’
‘Billie doesn’t.’
‘She does. It’s her own judgement she doesn’t trust. I know it because I was the same when she was born. I remember how hard being a new parent was, the constant worry about every little call. She trusts you, but there’s always the outside chance, however remote, that you could be wrong, and so she’s looking for ways to be certain. It’s not you she has the issue with; it’s the whole experience of parenthood.’
As soon as she’d processed his words, Zoe knew he was right. She could have all the professional experience in the world, but without the experience of motherhood, she would never be able to see it from Billie’s perspective. She realised she’d been too hard on Alex’s daughter, and knowing that she’d helped escalate the disagreement to something it should never have been made her burn with shame. She should have known better; she shouldhave had more patience. If she’d taken a minute to think about how Billie might be feeling…
‘I’ll go and talk to her,’ she decided, making for the stairs, but Alex pulled her back.
‘I’d give her a minute. She’ll mull it over, and then she’ll get her head on straight. Trustme, I’ve seen this play out before. I might once have been clueless, and I still get things wrong all the time, but I know that much. She’ll come round when she realises you were trying to help.’
Zoe didn’t think she had helped much. She wished she’d handled things differently, but it was too late to undo it now, and perhaps Alex had a point. So she nodded.
‘I’ve got to get to work anyway. I’ll see if one of the doctors can take a look at Louisa first thing, and I’ll text to let you know. Would you be able to bring them down to the village?’
‘I’ll find time if it comes to that.’
‘I’d ask if she wants me to wait for her, but I don’t think she will.’
‘Probably not; she’s probably not quite in her forgiving phase yet. It takes a little longer than this usually. Zoe…’
She was thrown by the earnest worry in his voice. ‘Yes?’
‘I realise that sometimes we’re not the easiest people to live with. I mean, I have my issues and Billie…well, she’s black and white, isn’t she? There’s no middle ground, and you’re either with her or against her, and that can be hard, but we do both love you. This morning, and the things that happened since you moved in, they haven’t…well, they haven’t put you off, have they?’
Zoe thought about the things that might put him off, secrets and struggles far bigger than what they’d already faced – at least they seemed that way to her – and wondered if it ought to be her asking that question instead of him. He wanted her now, but would that change?
‘No,’ she said and reached to kiss him. ‘It would take a lot more than that to put me off.’
‘Like what? I’m asking just so I know what to look out for.’
She returned his anxious smile. ‘I don’t know, but it would bea lotmore. Stop worrying. Like you said, we’ll be fine – I’m sure it will all have blown over by the time I get home from work. If Billie needs me, then tell her she can ring and I won’t mind.’
‘I will. Thanks.’
‘Thankyou. I needed to hear some of what you said this morning.’
He kissed her again and went upstairs. Zoe could hear more muffled conversation through the ceiling. She wondered what they were saying and whether it was as reasonable and measured as the chat she and Alex had just had. She hoped so because she hated the thought of making things awkward for him. She loved Billie and Louisa, but at the end of the day, she was only here because of Alex.
An hour later, Zoe was preparing for her morning clinic when Simon put his head around her office door.
‘How are you doing?’
‘I’m good,’ she said as brightly as she could. It was only nine thirty and yet it already felt like a long day.
‘Good,’ he said. ‘Glad to hear it. Have you given any more thought to my text? Only this consultant gets very busy, and we’d need to move fast if you wanted to see her.’
‘I appreciate it, Simon, but I don’t think I will see her. You’re not offended, are you? I mean, I really am grateful for the offer but…well, I don’t see what she can offer. Unless she can reverse it, and you and I know that would be a miracle.’
‘Reverse it, no, but she might be able to tell you that it’s not yet a done deal. And we talked about you future-proofingyour…well…’ He glanced up and down the corridor behind him before stepping into the room and closing the door. ‘Making provisions for your eggs.’
‘Which would be grand if I had any left.’
‘That’s what she’d be able to tell you,’ Simon replied in the manner of a schoolteacher forced to remind an unruly pupil that they know a lot less than they think.
