‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing…I expect my period’s coming and I’m all mopey. It’s about due. Overdue, actually.’
Billie raised her eyebrows. ‘You’re not?—?’
‘No!’ Zoe cut in. ‘Don’t panic, I’m not.’
‘I wasn’t going to panic. It would be cool…’
‘It would be madness right now.’
‘I suppose there’s already a lot going on, but Dad would be made up.’
‘Would he?’ Zoe sipped at her tea. ‘Like you said, he’s got a lot going on, and Louisa is already livening up the house. I’m not sure another baby would be ideal.’
‘He wouldn’t care about that; he’d love it.’
Zoe wished this conversation hadn’t started. She was certain she wasn’t pregnant – not only was it unlikely because she and Alex were careful, but the test was the first thing she’d done when she’d noticed her cycle wasn’t right. But still, there was a tiny grain of doubt that confused her more than ever. She wasn’t sure what she wanted the truth to be, but she was sure this wasn’t the time to think about it. It felt as though for the last few days she’d done nothing but fret about it until her brain was tied up in knots. She got up. ‘I should be getting to work.’
‘Are you annoyed?’ Billie asked. ‘That I asked about…you know…that you might be pregnant. Sorry, I didn’t mean?—’
‘Of course I’m not annoyed. It’s a reasonable question to ask.’
‘If you did, it would be nice for Louisa. So I don’t want you to feel I wouldn’t approve, because I’d be OK with it. I mean, it would be weird in a way…when you think about it, because it would be like your dad and Chantal having a baby, wouldn’t it? But it would be nice.’
‘A bit, I suppose.’ Zoe shook her head. ‘If you think about it too much, it all starts to get complicated. So, on that note, it’s time I left you to it.’
She went to Louisa and booped her gently on the nose. ‘Be good for your mummy and I’ll see you both later.’
She nodded at Billie as she headed for the door. ‘Hopefully your dad’s nerves won’t be entirely shredded by then, and your first guests will be settled in at the pods.’
9
It took a lot to throw Zoe when it came to her professional life. At this point, she’d pretty much seen everything, but even she was shocked at how frail and ashen her first home visit of the day looked when she answered the front door.
‘Hello, Sam. You don’t mind me dropping in, do you?’
Sam shuffled backwards to let Zoe in. ‘I’m glad you came. Will you check to make sure everything’s OK? I’m scared to death all this throwing up is doing bad things to the baby.’
‘I’m sure you are. I’ll have a good look, and we can chat about your worries. You’re going through a lot – morning sickness is no joke for any woman, but HG is something else. I don’t envy anyone going through it.’
‘HG?’
‘Or to be unnecessarily technical about it, hyperemesis gravidarum.’
‘No wonder you call it HG. I’d say I know what to call it now, but I won’t remember it in five minutes.’
‘There’s no need. I’m sure people get the picture when you tell them you can’t stop being sick.’
Zoe followed Sam into the living room. She’d been in here once before a few weeks back, and she had to admit that the evidence of Sam’s current struggles was everywhere. Back then it had been so neat it was close to meticulous, with wide-open curtains and fresh air. Today, the room was in semi gloom, with closed curtains, a scrunched-up blanket on the sofa, numerous water bottles and blister packs for medication of all kinds, and an ominous-looking bowl on the floor. ‘You’re still off work?’
‘Yes. I think they’d rather me be off than looking like this –it’d put the customers off their beer. They’ve been brilliant about it, actually. It’s at times like this I’m glad I work at the local pub and not for some giant company where you’re just a number.’
‘There’s definitely something to be said for the personal touch. How are you feeling in yourself? Apart from the obvious?’
‘Like crap, and I can’t tell any more if that’s the sickness or if I really am dying.’
Zoe gave her sympathetic grimace. ‘It’s rough, I know. The only consolation I can offer is that it’s not going to be forever.’
