Sometimes it sucked to be seen too clearly, was the thing.
But Ash was an asshole, not a coward. So—after another long moment of making Noah wait, just because—he sat on the couch and talked to his brother.
21
SPENCER
It was only a half-hour drive to Spencer’s destination, a pretty short distance considering he’d never been there before.
He used the time to try to calm his breathing, clenching and unclenching his fingers against the steering wheel as his air-conditioning worked full-time to cool the sweat off his brow.
Stupid. He’d been so stupid. He’d known Noah was pissed just from the tone of his texts, had known Noah would want nothing to do with him when he came by, and he’d put his foot in it anyway.
Spencer should have stayed with Ryder. The other alpha had tried to keep him in the kitchen, whispering in his low, rough voice that it was better to let the brothers duke it out first. But Spencer had just wanted?—
Fuck, he didn’t know what he’d wanted. Too say sorry in person, probably, just the once. To reassure himself that Noah wouldn’t hate his guts forever. But Spencer had already been rubbed raw from giving all of himself to Ash’s heat, and the way Noah had spoken to him …
Spencer wiped at his eyes with a shaky hand. Stupid. He should have waited. Should have let Ryder calm him like he’d wanted with his deep, woodsy scent. Should have sat down with Ryder and Ash afterward and let the two of them finally lay things on the table.
Because Noah wasn’t the only person Spencer needed to talk to. Things had been said—or at the very least implied—about what Ash and Ryder might want from him. What they might want Spencer tobeto them. And it was up to Spencer to be brave enough to buckle up and listen.
But he couldn’t really listen to anything with Noah’s, “I’m notfuckingtalking to you,” ringing in his ears. So Spencer had turned his phone off like a coward as soon as he’d gotten in his car, and now he was running to the one place he had left.
The Desert Dreams RV Resort was clean and spacious, a mix of mobile RVs and stationary cottage models with palm trees dotted throughout. There was a pool near the entrance with little kids shrieking in the water, and a few older couples sitting under sun umbrellas watching what were presumably their grandchildren.
Fuck. Spencer would have killed to live here as a kid.
He pulled his car up to the site number he’d been sent this past summer to find one of the small cottages, about the size of an RV, painted off-white with a couple of potted cacti set out front.
There wouldn’t be any need to call or text or knock on the door. She was already sitting on the small front porch in a folding chair, her bare feet kicked up on the railing as she smoked what was probably one in a long chain of menthols.
Spencer got out his car and gave her a little wave. “Hiya, Mumsie.”
She didn’t look surprised to see him, just blew some smoke in the air with pursed pink lips. “Uh-oh. You drop out?”
“Nah. Just wanted a visit.”
Spencer’s mom squinted at him, small lines crinkling around her deep-blue eyes. She was an omega, short-statured and still beautiful in her way, with overtanned skin and bleached blond hair she kept in a long shag. “You look terrible,” she said after a moment. “Who’d you piss off?”
Spencer shrugged even as something in his chest twisted. “Everybody, I guess.”
His mom only nodded, like that was to be expected. Spencer climbed up the short steps and took a seat on the porch next to her, dropping his elbows to his knees. “This is a nice spot.”
His mom grunted her acknowledgment. “Got a decent bartending gig. Crazy tips, and the manager nips any bullshit in the bud.”
“That’s great, Mom.”
Spencer meant it. This was one of the better places she’d ever settled on her own, and he was proud of her for it. Maybe she wasn’t the warmest mom around, but Spencer knew why she was the way she was. She’d been a fierce, pretty omega, and she’d had a kid too young she’d had to raise by herself, and she’d reached out for help and love over and over again only to be disappointed just as many times. And fuck if she hadn’t done the best she could to keep him safe and warm and fed, even if it hadn’t always worked out the way she’d planned.
Spencer had once told Chase he didn’t envy him his rich, shitty parents, and he’d meant that with his whole heart. He’d rather have love that was guarded than wonder if there was any love at all.
Spencer looked out into the distance. There was another cottage across the road, but their porch was on the other side, affording a little privacy. “Any terrible boyfriends lately?”
His mom let out a raspy laugh, scratching at her shin with her heel. “Nah. Got a regular wants to marry me, but I’m makinghim wait.” She shot him a sideways grin. “Trying something new.”’
Spencer nodded. He hoped she made him wait a long, long time. Long enough to see if he was really the type of person to stick around when he said he would. To benicewhen he said he would. That alone would be better than any of her exes.
Speaking of.
