“None of your fucking business,” Ash snapped.
Spencer hissed in a breath. That had been a little spicy coming out of nowhere, even for Ash.
Noah blanched. “Jesus, Ash. What’s your problem?”
Ash ran a hand through his hair, his scowl softening. “Sorry. Not feeling too hot today.”
“Well, don’t take it out on Spence,” Noah said lightly as he headed over to the fridge and grabbed two water bottles. “He’s more sensitive than he looks.”
Ash immediately lost any appearance of contrition, bristling like a prickly-ass hedgehog. “You don’t have to tell me how Spencer is.”
Noah stared at him, water bottles in hand.
Well, fuck. Now Spencer was basically a filthy home-wrecker, ruining the relationship between two loving brothers with his secrets. He needed to say something, right? Fix this somehow?
But Ryder stepped forward before Spencer could open his mouth. “Ash had coffee this morning,” he said calmly. “Two cups before I caught him.”
Noah’s eyes widened in understanding. He let out a short laugh. “Oh shit. I get it.” He reached out a hand and ruffled Ash’s curls, blatantly ignoring his little brother’s offended scowl. “Maybe take another dip in the pool. Cool off. If you get snippy with Eli, you’re out.”
And then Noah turned away, mouthing “sorry” to Spencer as he left the kitchen.
Guilt twisted hotly in Spencer’s belly. As if Noah had anything to be sorry for.Spencerwas the one messing everything up, causing tension where there shouldn’t be any.
When they heard the back door open and close, Ryder cleared his throat. “Maybe this conversation should wait for some privacy.”
Ash got in Spencer’s space before Spencer could agree. He poked a finger into Spencer’s chest. “Are you out?”
“What?” Spencer asked.
“Of the deal. Is that what this is? You want out but don’t have the balls to tell us up front?”
Spencer should say yes, of course. That he was out, or that he was in too deep, or whichever of those was the right answer for his state of mind. But he was already shaking his head, panicked at the thought of Ash and Ryder leaving the pool party and never calling him again. “No, of course not. I’m not out. I’m just getting … confused.”
Ash cocked his head. “Confused?”
“Yeah, ’cause like”—Spencer shrugged—“I wanna help and I—I wanna hang, but there’s being nice and there’s beingtoonice, you know. You can’t …” He cleared his throat. “You can’t be too nice to me. It’s not good. For me. You know?”
Ash looked somewhere halfway between blankly confused and hostile, but Ryder had a look of dawning comprehension on his face.
“Ah.”
Ash turned to him. “Ah?”
“Yeah. Ah.” Ryder came up next to Ash, right in Spencer’s face, and rubbed a palm over Spencer’s neck, casually scent marking him. He met Spencer’s eyes squarely. “We’ll have this conversation later,” he said, all calm and cool. “When we have privacy. But no confusion necessary. Everything’s good.”
“It is?”
Spencer didn’t know why some part of him sagged in relief. It wasn’t like anything had really changed. But Ryder sounded so confident. So sure. Like maybe he knew how Spencer wasfeeling. Like maybe he knew just the right way to let Spencer down gently without tearing his heart out of his chest.
“Yeah.” Ryder pressed his thumb to Spencer’s cheek. “All good, pretty baby. Just enjoy the party. We’ll talk later. Tonight.”
Ash looked like he was ready to argue, but Ryder set a hand on his lower back, steering him toward the door. Ash dodged his hold only long enough to tug a lock of Spencer’s hair just this side of too hard, promising, “Tonight,” before they were gone.
Spencer stared after them, slightly reassured but more confused than ever, wishing he could have had their hands on him just a minute longer.
18
ASH
