He started laughing quietly. His shoulders shook and I could feel the bed shaking. Ah, damn. See, now I couldn’t even feel bad about my pathetic accident. If I could make Sam laugh, I would do pretty much anything.
“You look so handsome when you laugh like this,” I murmured watching him, my heart full of so many feelings.
His eyes went wide as if I had said something shocking.
“Hmm, get used to it. I’ve a decade worth of shit I didn’t get to say.”
He ducked his head and ah, damn, a tint of pink spread on his cheekbones. Fuck, Sam was blushing? And I had caused this? Gah. I couldn’t get enough of this man.
“You…” He cleared his throat.
“I what?” I grinned.
“You look…”
I waited. Sam’s face turned red. Oh, I was going to so enjoy this.
“You should sleep now.” He tried to pull his hand out of my grasp. “The Doctor —”
“No! Complete your sentence. I look what?”
“You already know.”
“How would I know?” I replied innocently. “All these years I thought you were a monk or something. And then one fine day my mouth is suddenly full of your cock—”
Sam planted a hand on my mouth and we both burst out laughing.
10
Chapter 10
After we both found our breath back, I studied Sam’s face.
I had been comfortable with my sexuality for a long time, but I didn’t know about him. He was the kind of man who, even if his family hadn’t been homophobic, would still struggle with something like this. He looked back at me steadily.
Sam spoke less, but I had always found it easy to read his eyes, especially when we were alone like this. He dropped his guard for me. And his eyes let me in. Right now his gaze was telling me that he was at peace. He was ready to do this with me. I didn’t see any struggle, any regret, not any confusion. Then I remembered something that I thought would help him feel a little bit more comfortable with our new dynamic.
“I want to tell you something.”
He tilted his head in question.
“Adrien and Grant?”
“Yeah?” he asked.
“They are together now.”
He raised his eyebrows. He was still sitting next to me on the bed, both his arms resting on either side of my shoulders, leaning over me. I lifted my hand and pressed it to the side of his face. I had always wanted to do things like that, and the delight of being granted such simple pleasures made me giddywith happiness. He closed his eyes briefly, soaking in my touch. I couldn’t believe that I was finally able to do everything my heart desired with this man.
“Yeah. Grant has been in love with Adrien forever. I used to tease him about it, and then a few days ago they got together. They’re not going to come out publicly, but I wanted you to know. It’s not just us.”
Sam opened his eyes and looked down at me. I could see that I had done the right thing by sharing this news. Then suddenly he chuckled and shook his head.
“What?” I asked with a grin, not knowing why he was laughing. “What’s so funny?”
He blew a breath. “No wonder Grant gave me the supplies out of the blue.”
I frowned. “What do you mean? Our camping supplies? I’m sure somebody would be getting them restocked, right? Or we could always go back.”
