I love you. If you never talk to me again, I understand.
It was difficult to read through the blur of tears, but River persevered. She wanted to read it all, to know it all, to see what her brother had been writing her all this time. It turned out he had known for much longer than she had, and he had failed to stop their mother from trying to kill innocents—but that didn’t mean he hadn’t tried.
And he hadn’t told her so he wouldn’t burden her with the same knowledge that plagued him.
How could I have been so cruel to him? How could I accuse him of such terrible things?
How could I ignore his letters for so long?
Guilt climbed up her throat, choking her. A sob racked through her, and River collapsed on the nearest chair, letting her head fall into her hands. She had been so unfair to Aidan. Her bother had surely spent the past year thinking she hated him, that she didn’t want to speak to him, that she blamed him for everything, when the truth of the matter was that she blamed herself—and she was afraid. So afraid.
She had to make it up to him. She had to take away as much of the pain she had caused as she could. She had to ask for forgiveness.
Grabbing a piece of paper from another drawer, along with a pen and ink, she began to write.
25
“What do ye mean she hasnae left the eastern wing all day?”
The guard who reported to Archer every day regarding River’s whereabouts and well-being seemed rattled by the sudden rise in his voice. At first, Archer had thought that maybe spying on her like this was overkill, but now he had been proven right.
There was a reason for him to do it, after all, and a good one.
“I daenae ken why, me Laird,” said the young guard. He was average in every way—quite handsome but not enough to stand out from the others, average in height, with the same hair as most guards in the castle, and so he was entirely inconspicuous. Archer had chosen him for that exact reason, and not so much for his insight.
“Did ye ask around?”
“I…I didnae think to,” said the guard, his cheeks turning a furious red color.
“Never mind,” said Archer with a wave of his hand. “Thank ye, ye may leave.”
When the door to his study fell shut, Archer poured himself a cup of wine and walked over to the window, staring outside at the courtyard. Why was River locking herself up in her chambers once more? Was she trying to make a point? He couldn’t imagine for what, but then again, women were often mysterious to him. He could understand war. He could understand complex strategy, history, rations—everything that worked behind the scenes to move the world. But he couldn’t always understand the mind of the woman, least of all a woman like River.
He did enjoy the challenge, though.
Draining his cup, Archer put it down and left his study. It was time for his afternoon rounds, and he made his way around the castle, ending up in the courtyard.
He found Layla there, along with Arya and Colby, the three of them playing together. It was a strange sight, seeing the three of them without River there, and it gave Archer pause. Had she not even come out for this? She never let the children out of her sight if she didn’t have to.
Did somethin’ happen to her? Nay…nay, I would have heard of it.
When they saw him, the children rushed up to him all smiles. Archer had become fond of them despite himself, and he had to restrain himself from reaching over to ruffle Colby’s hair.
With a killer on the loose, Archer didn’t want to give anyone any ideas. It was better for him to keep his distance, he thought. It was better to pretend he didn’t care about anyone if it meant it would keep them all safe.
“Good afternoon, me Laird,” called Layla with her usual bright grin. “Are ye doin’ yer rounds?”
“Aye,” said Archer. “Where’s me wife?”
“River’s fallen ill, me Laird,” said Colby in his sweet, childish voice. “She sent us out to play without her.”
“Ill?” asked Archer with a frown. “Why did nae one tell me?”
Colby’s lips pursed shut, while Layla faltered for a moment.
“I…I daenae ken, me Laird,” she said. “I didnae think it was me place.”
“It wasnae yer duty,” Archer assured her. “But I should have been informed.”
