Arizona stepped forward. “All right, here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to head to Children’s to have them take a look at those open wounds.” To me, she said, “The staff there has a direct line to Child and Youth Services, who will hopefully be able to help us figure out where to go from here. Is everyone good with that plan?”
Everyone agreed, and we were headed out the door, piling into my car.
The pit in my stomach grew heavier with every mile that I drove, my worry for Maisie eclipsing everything else.
When the parade of doctors finally ended, I stepped out of Maisie’s temporary room at the ER, overwhelmed and needing a minute to process.
Why did it feel like her suffering was all my fault? Like, if only I’d been there, I could have protected her from the emotional pain of losing her parents or from the ongoing physical challenges that came with losing her leg in a freak accident?
But I wasn’t there, and those terrible things had happened to her in my absence. There was nothing I could do to change that, and guilt corroded my insides.
I barely knew the girl, but our genetic tie made me responsible for her.
With that weight resting squarely on my shoulders, I pulled out my cell phone, dialing the only other person I knew who might be able to relate to my current situation.
After a few rings, a laugh sounded in my ear. “Well, shit. Never thought I’d see this name pop up on my Caller ID ever again. How’s the West Coast treating you? I hear their hockey team is shit.” When I didn’t clap back as expected, Benji Mason, my former teammate from when I’d played for the Comets said, “Seriously, Levi. Why are you calling me?”
Sighing, I scrubbed a hand over my jaw. “I know I’m not anyone’s favorite person back in Hartford, but something fell into my lap, and I was hoping you might be able to provide a little insight.”
“Uh, sure?” Apprehension leaked into his voice.
“What can you tell me about health insurance for foster kids?” It wasn’t something he spoke about often, but Benji had spent years in foster care before leaving rural Michigan and landing a professional hockey contract.
“You been doing some community service, working with kids in the system?”
“Not exactly.” I swallowed thickly. “A kid showed up on my doorstep today. She’s mine.”
There was a long pause. So long that I pulled my phone away from my face to make sure that the call hadn’t dropped or, more likely, that he hadn’t hung up on me.
When it appeared that the phone connection was still intact, I huffed, “I know. The universe has a twisted sense of humor.”
Benji was a jokester by nature; he loved to roast his teammates, so it was startling when he replied soberly, “Nothing funny about missing out on years of your child’s life because you didn’t know they existed.”
Though it was awkward as hell reaching out to someone who likely wouldn’t deign to piss on me if I were on fire, at least he knew what I was going through. He didn’t find out about his oldest son, Knox, until the kid was eight, and it was dumb luck that they’d crossed paths at all.
That thought soured in my gut.
What if Maisie’s parents hadn’t passed away? Would she have ever come to find me? Would I have lived my whole life never knowing I had a daughter out there?
My breathing grew shallow, and black spots danced across my vision. I was forced to slide down the wall at my back until my ass met the floor so that I didn’t pass out.
“Levi? You still there?”
I grunted in the affirmative. “Yeah, sorry. It’s a lot to take in.”
“What’s her name?” he asked softly.
My chest constricted. “Maisie.”
“Pretty.”
A ghost of a smile touched my lips. “She is.”
Benji hummed. “It’s funny how it happens.”
I dropped my forehead to my knees. “How what happens?”
“That no matter whether you’re there when they’re born or if you meet them years later, you fall in love and become a father in a single second.”
