"I wasn't starving myself. I... I have a lot of mixed feelings when it comes to feeding, Keoni. Nolan told me about shtrigas who are different, who aren't like my father, but growing up, feeding never resulted in anything good. I watched my father kill a human he fed on, and he told me it was okay because that's what shtrigas did. He made me believe I was a monster."
I kept my eyes on the stars and swallowed the lump in my throat. My conversation with Nolan had brought up memories I'd buried at the back of my mind, and I couldn't help wondering what my father was up to now. Was he still killing humans whenever he got hungry? Had he looked for me when I ran away? He'd told me he wouldn't lose me, so what'd happened after I'd run away? Had he kept going? Or had he given up?
Was it wrong that I hoped he was still alive, when that would mean the deaths of dozens of humans? Despite everything he'd done, he was still my father.
"I get it," Keoni said, his voice soft as he reached for my hand. He squeezed it gently, and I turned to smile at him.
He returned my smile, but then his face sobered, and he blew out a breath. "I'm worried about Zephyr."
He was one of the few people who called the headmaster by his name. I didn't know whywecalled him the headmaster, but it was a name that'd stuck, and now it felt weird to call him anything else.
"I think we all are," I said, and he nodded, though something in his eyes told me his concern ran deeper than mine. There had been moments over the years that'd made me think there might be something going on there, at least on Keoni's side, but I'd never asked him, and he'd never told me. I understood wanting to keep things to yourself, so I'd never pushed him, but I wanted to now.
"I asked Nolan about it, about the issues we're having."
"Yeah? What did he say?" Keoni asked, eyes full of hope.
"He said the pocket dimension is unbalanced, that we have a lot of new human members who can't contribute any magic, and that makes everything unstable. The headmaster is trying to make up for it all by himself, but his magic isn't enough."
Keoni's brows furrowed. "Can we give more magic from ourselves?"
"I'm not sure. I think if that was possible, the headmaster would've mentioned it. Maybe he's taken all he could from us?"
"Okay, this is weird to ask. I know you and Nolan have just started dating, but he's a dragon, right? He must be very powerful."
I thought about his life force, how it hadn't felt any weaker when I left his place, even though I'd fed on him until I was full.
"Yeah, he is," I murmured, and my lips curved up without a conscious thought from me.
"If he lived here, could he help? Make up for the imbalance?"
I blinked, my brain stuttering to a halt. "You want me to ask Nolan to move in with me?"
Keoni blew out a breath. "Sorry, that's way too much to ask. Forget I said anything, okay? I'm... I'm just worried."
The 'about Zephyr' didn't need to be said, because I could hear it regardless.
"Not now, but maybe soon?" I said, not wanting him to get sad. Keoni was like a younger brother to me, and I hated seeing him down.
"Thanks, Zee," he murmured, then turned his gaze back to the sky.
We lay there for quite a while, and Dots strolled up a while later, curling up on my chest like he belonged. I ran my fingers through his fur, and the warmth of his body and the twinkling night sky slowed down my buzzing thoughts, the cool breeze made me feel sleepy again, and before I knew it, I was asleep.
