“Football…” she trailed off, my expression and Mateo’s name finally clicking. “Emmie, he plays for your father, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah,” I winced.
“Does your father know?” Marcy gave me that look that screamedtell me he knows. After years of her coaching me, I knew her expressions like the back of my hand, and this one was of disappointment.
“Uh…well.”
“Emmie James.” There went the full name. “And why haven’t you told him that you’re seeing his star player?”
“I don’t know.” I pushed off the ice and skated in a circle, needing to move. “He’s making an effort to call me more and see me. He keeps confirming that he’ll be at regionals.”
My fear seemed stupid, but I was afraid if I told my dad that he’d take it out on Mateo, which in turn would ruin what we had going on. Bigger than that was the fear of losing my dad again. We were making progress. What if I told him and we went back to talking once a month?
“Emmie.” Marcy’s tone made me stop. “Like I said a moment ago, you are an adult. No one can make decisions for you. Not even him.”
“I know,” I mumbled.
“I know your relationship with your dad has had its ups and downs, but he loves you. After every competition, he pretty much blows my phone up talking about you and how proud he is.”
“He does?” My chest tightened, heart lodged in my throat. “Why doesn’t he do that with me?”
My dad messaged me after competitions, but it was always along the lines of, “Great job, kiddo! You killed it.”It was nice that he went out of his way to say it, but it always came across as unbothered.
“That’s something you need to ask him yourself, but you have to know he loves you.” She crossed her arms.
A flurry of emotions swept through me, so fast I couldn’t catch a single one long enough to name it. Shock. Hurt. Gratitude. Confusion.
My dad never came to my competitions. Never sat in the stands. Never cheered when my name was announced. And yet…he’d been watching and reaching out to Marcy after every performance?
I didn’t know why that revelation stunned me. Maybe because part of me had already accepted he wasn’t paying attention at all.
So much was going through my mind that part of me wanted to call him and demand answers. But I also knew that would get me nowhere.
I was going to have a talk to him soon, and not just about the usual surface-level things. There were real conversations waiting to happen. But not tonight. I needed time to untangle my thoughts before they spilled out in ways I couldn’t take back.
Marcy tapping on the boards drew my attention back to her. She gave me a stern look.
“You need to tell him about Mateo. The sooner the better.”
“I will,” I promised. Despite the other conversation we needed to have, telling my dad couldn’t wait much longer. It was unfair of me to make Mateo not say a word, either.
“Your dad may surprise you.”
I tried not to get my hopes up, knowing how bad it would hurt if it got crushed.
A deliberate clearing of a throat made me flinch, my gaze snapping sideways and landing on the one person I’d been trying, and failing, not to think about all day. What was he doing here? I thought he was still on the road from their away game yesterday?
“Hope I’m not interrupting.” Mateo stepped toward the boards, glancing between Marcy and me.
“Not at all,” I said. The sight of him instantly calmed the storm inside my mind. I’d deal with all that later.
I drank in the sight of him hungrily. It’d only been two days since he left for his game, but it felt like weeks. My hands itched at my sides to grab and kiss him. The only reason I didn’t do just that was because Marcy was staring at the two of us with raised eyebrows.
“Mateo, right?” Marcy crossed the distance and stepped in front of him, hand held out.
“Yes, ma’am.” Mateo flashed that easygoing smile at my coach, taking her hand in his.
“So, you’re the one who’s distracting my star student.”
