Page 49 of Borrow My Calm


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“Yeah. Harper. University. She sends me listings for dogs she can’t afford, in apartments that don’t allow dogs, with schedules that would be unfair to dogs.”

“Sounds determined.”

“She’s a Holloway. We call it determined when we like the person and stubborn when we don’t.”

“Older or younger?”

“Younger. Twenty-one. Terrifying. She once made my dad apologize to a waitress because he said he didn’t need a menu and then changed his mind.”

Coach’s eyes warmed in a small way I didn’t know what to do with. “Your dad still in Michigan?”

“Yeah. Cal. Works less now because I bully him with money.”

“You bully your father?”

“I send him things he didn’t ask for and then refuse to return them. Last month, new snowblower.”

“Did he need one?”

“No idea. He owns one now.”

“That’s not bullying. That’s inefficient affection.”

I laughed before I could stop myself.

It felt too easy.

He asked about Michigan. I asked what city he hated playing in most. He said Winnipeg in February with the dead seriousness of a man describing war. I said my worst road trip was juniors in Manitoba when the bus bathroom door broke and Milo, who was not on that team but spiritually would have been responsible, somehow still got blamed in the story. He told me Tiny had once eaten an entire rotisserie chicken, including some of the container, then looked offended when taken to the emergency vet.

I was still crouched with my hand on the dog’s neck. My knees had started to ache.

I did not stand up.

Coach didn’t leave.

That was the second time I noticed.

He could have ended the conversation twelve different ways. He was good at that. Efficient. Controlled. A man who turned silence into punctuation.

Instead, he asked, “Does Harper get to many games?”

“Couple a year. School keeps her busy. She pretends she doesn’t care, then sends me twelve paragraphs after about everyone’s defensive failures.”

“Smart woman.”

“She’d like you.”

The words came out before I screened them.

His gaze lifted to mine.

I looked down at Tiny too fast. “Because you’d agree with her about my defensive failures.”

“Probably.”

There. Safe again.

Mostly.