Page 4 of Borrow My Calm


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“Holloway,” he called during transition work.

I circled back, spraying ice harder than necessary. “Yeah?”

He stepped onto the ice, no skates, just shoes on the mat by the bench, still managing to look like he belonged in the middle of all of us. “Again. You’re cheating early.”

“I’m anticipating.”

“You’re leaving your winger unsupported.”

“I’m creating speed through the neutral zone.”

“You’re creating a turnover if Vega doesn’t bail you out.”

From the crease, Roman lifted his glove. “Please stop making me a better person than I am.”

A few guys laughed.

I looked at Reid. “You want slower?”

“I want responsible.”

Something hot flashed under my ribs. Too fast to catch, too familiar to trust. I heard criticism where maybe there wasn’t any. I heard too much, again. Reckless. Difficult. Brilliant when he feels like it. The same tired commentary dressed in new clothes.

I smiled because smiling was easier than letting my face show the hit. “Responsible. Got it. Should I knit something too, or just dump and chase until everyone feels safe?”

The laughter died before it started.

Reid’s jaw shifted once.

Not clenched. Not quite.

“Again,” he said.

My pulse kicked.

I skated the drill again and did it his way. Of course it worked. That annoyed me more.

After practice, Tessa Moreno caught me outside the locker room with a tablet tucked under one arm and the expression of a woman who had already solved three disasters before lunch.

“Two minutes for social,” she said.

I groaned. “Tessa.”

“Don’t Tessa me. You missed media availability yesterday.”

“I had treatment.”

“You had treatment for twenty minutes. Media waited forty.”

“I forgot.”

“I know.” Her face softened by maybe half a degree, which for Tessa was practically a hug. “That’s why I texted you twice and Roman once. Next time, answer one of us.”

Guilt landed heavy and immediate. “Yeah. Sorry.”

She nodded, accepting it without making me bleed for it. “Two minutes. Smile like you’re not personally victimized by employment.”

I gave her the clip. I smiled. I said the new coach brought structure and accountability and a strong defensive mindset, which were all words players said when they did not want to create headlines. Across the hallway, Reid spoke with our assistant GM. He wasn’t looking at me.