A breath came out of me. Not quite a laugh, but close enough to remind me my lungs still worked.
Then the weight came back.
“Can we have a future?” I asked.
Declan looked at me like he understood I needed the truth more than comfort.
“Yes,” he said. “But not without a bill attached.”
My eyes burned. I blinked until the room behaved. “That answer sucks.”
“It’s the only one I trust tonight.”
I nodded too many times, caught myself, and stopped. My head felt crowded again, thoughts knocking into each other. Olivia at Rachel’s. Rachel knowing the shape of a secret even without the name. Roman already knowing and having to carry it. Tessa knowing enough to run damage control before anyone asked. The team. Cameras. My dad seeing headlines. Harper calling me an idiot with fear under it. Declan sitting in front of management because of me.
“We need boundaries,” Declan said.
“We have boundaries.”
“We have secrecy habits. That isn’t the same thing.”
That one landed.
He leaned forward again. “At the rink, the line has to be cleaner than it’s ever been. For both of us.”
I nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“No private meetings without a legitimate reason. If there is one, the door stays open or someone knows where we are. No riding together from team events. No messages during work hours unless it relates to work or there’s an actual emergency.”
I felt the next rule before he said it.
“And game days,” he added. “I can’t be the thing you use to regulate before puck drop when I’m supposed to be functioning as your coach.”
That hurt in a specific, ugly place.
I looked down at Tiny’s head. “So I just deal with it.”
“No.” His voice softened, but didn’t weaken. “You use the systems that belong to you. Alarms. Food before you get shaky. The breathing routine. Roman if you need a human being. Your notes. The stuff we built that doesn’t require me pulling you into a hallway.”
I hated that he was right.
I hated that the routines helped and I still wanted his hand at the back of my neck because sometimes my brain accepted pressure better than words.
“I like when it’s you,” I said.
“I know.”
“It works.”
“I know that too.”
Tiny shifted, trying to climb higher into my lap and failing with great effort.
Declan watched me, his face worn open by the day. “I can help without being the only structure you trust.”
I closed my eyes for a second.
There it was. My fear, said responsibly. That I’d become too much. Too dependent. Too scattered. Too loud. That the parts of me he could steady would eventually become the parts he resented.
