Something in me wanted to make a joke. Something smarter followed the instruction.
In. Hold. Out.
Again.
Declan didn’t touch me. He didn’t make it a scene. He just stood there with Tiny sitting between us, pretending he had not quietly pulled me back from the edge of myself in the middle of a public park.
After the third breath, the world got less sharp.
“Better?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Too many inputs?”
“Yeah. And guilt. And thinking. And that guy behind us has walked past twice.”
“Runner. Reflective shoes. Not watching us.”
I looked.
He was right.
I let out a breath that almost became a laugh. “You notice everything?”
“Occupational hazard.”
“Is that all it is?”
“No.”
My gaze snapped back to him.
The path light cut across his face, catching the gray of his eyes, the dark line of his beard. He looked calm. He also looked like the space between us cost him something.
“No,” he repeated. “Not with you.”
The attraction hit low and immediate. Not frantic like the hotel. Not reckless like the alley. This was quieter, the kind that made me want to step into his chest and stay there.
Tiny chose that moment to stand, turn in a circle, and sit directly on Declan’s foot.
Declan looked down. “Really?”
Tiny leaned his full weight against him.
I laughed, and the tension broke enough for us to keep walking.
We made one full loop, then another half. We talked about small things after that because the big things had taken enough. His first terrible apartment after he got drafted. My dad’s habit of calling every hotel room “fancy” even when it had mystery stains. Owen once filling Declan’s truck with balloons. Harper threatening to block me if I sent her another expensive laptop. Tiny eating an entire rotisserie chicken off the counter and then acting betrayed by consequences.
By the time we reached the parking lot edge, I didn’t want to leave.
That was the problem.
Wanting his mouth was one thing. Wanting his body was confusing and explosive and easier to file under sex, even if that file was now on fire. Wanting to keep walking with him in the cold while his dog drooled on my jeans and he told me about his brothers was worse.
It meant I wanted access.
Ordinary access.
