“Terrifying.”
For five minutes, I sat there and let the room be loud without making it my job to fight every sound. Declan didn’t come over. He didn’t need to. That was the strange part. The instruction held even from across the room.
At 8:55, my timer went off while I was standing in my hotel room holding two different shirts and no memory of why I’d opened the closet.
Leave whether you feel ready or not.
I dropped both shirts into my bag, zipped it, grabbed my key card and toothbrush, then had to go back for my phone because of course I did. But I was in the lobby by 9:07.
Declan walked past me near the front desk.
No one else would have noticed the pause.
“Color?” he asked, barely turning his head.
“Green.”
“Keep it there.”
The words settled low in my body.
“Yes, Coach.”
His hand flexed once around the strap of his bag, then he kept walking.
Morning skate was fine. Not great. Fine. My passes were clean, my timing a half beat off until the second drill, then better once repetition took over. Hockey was easier than everything else because the choices came fast enough that my brain didn’t have time to split into ten pieces. Read, move, adjust. Body first. Thought second.
Declan corrected me twice in front of everyone.
Both times professional.
Both times my body remembered the hotel lounge.
“Shorter route, Holloway.”
I cut shorter.
“Again.”
I did it again.
“Better.”
That one stayed with me through the rest of skate like heat under my gear.
After practice, media was a blur of safe answers. Yes, the road stretch was important. No, we weren’t looking past anyone. New systems took adjustment. The room was full of microphones and lights and faces waiting for something useful, and I could feel myself slipping toward autopilot in a way that usually made me reckless.
Tessa caught me near the backdrop afterward. “You survived without saying anything that makes my life harder.”
“I live to serve.”
“You absolutely do not, but today I’ll accept the lie.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
Vanessa again.
Vanessa: Tonight still okay?
