If he had said no, I could have hated him. I could have thrown myself into being angry, loud, impossible, a nightmare in skates, whatever version of myself people were already comfortable believing in.
But he said not here while his fingers were still warm from fixing my tie.
He said it like he had to force the words out.
He said it like there was a place.
Vanessa touched my arm when I made it back to our table. “Where did you go?”
“Needed air.”
“You didn’t take your phone.”
“I know.”
Her mouth pressed together, then softened. “You okay?”
There was still a camera pointed in our direction from the sponsor wall, so I smiled because I knew how. “Yeah. Long day.”
She didn’t believe me.
That was new. Or maybe she’d been not believing me for a while and I’d been too busy not looking at her to notice.
The argument waited until the next morning, which was worse.
I woke late, missed my first alarm, dismissed the second without memory, and came out of the bedroom in yesterday’s sweatpants to find Vanessa sitting at my kitchen island with coffee, her laptop open, and a weekend resort page on the screen.
“I was thinking Aspen,” she said.
My brain was still trying to sort toothbrush, meds, breakfast, practice schedule, where the fuck did I put my keys. “For what?”
She looked up slowly. “For us.”
“Oh.”
“Next weekend. You’re home Friday after practice, Saturday off, Sunday morning optional skate. I checked.”
Of course she had.
Vanessa looked beautiful in the morning in a way that didn’t seem accidental. Hair in a loose knot, soft sweater slipping off one shoulder, gold earrings already in. Not camera-perfect, exactly. Just composed. I had no idea how people woke up and became arranged.
“I thought we could get away,” she said. “No appearances. No tables. No events unless you count room service.”
Guilt made me meaner than I wanted to be. “You hate room service. You always say the lighting is depressing.”
“I’m trying, Jace.”
That shut me up.
She closed the laptop halfway. Not hard. Not dramatic. Careful.
“I know things have been off,” she said. “I know your season is intense, and the coaching change has been a lot, and maybe I haven’t been great about asking what you actually need.” She swallowed. “So I’m asking now. Come away with me for two days.”
My keys were on the counter beside the fruit bowl. I picked them up, then put them down because I didn’t need them yet. Then picked them up again.
“Yeah,” I said. “Okay.”
Her face changed.
