Inside the shed, I pick up a gas can. Maybe if I burn the house down with us inside, all of this will end. Tonight. Am I brave enough?
I force myself to stop reliving that day. I should have died. I never wanted to be left alone, to live with the screams or the smell of their burning flesh. I don’t remember how I walked away; I wanted to go down with the flames.
The smoke continues to fill the room, causing me to start coughing. I don’t know what I’m doing, or how to get out of this; I don’t remember that night.
I fall to the floor and cough violently, opening my eyes in time to see a picture of Amelie flash on a screen. It's the day she left me after she promised she wouldn’t.
The sight of it causes pain to spike through my chest.
So many people have left me: my aunt was the first because she couldn’t take the life our parents led, she said she had to go and she was sorry. How sorry could she have been to leave me behind? If her parents were anything like mine then she should have known to take me with her.
Then there was my best friend Sammy. I couldn’t call her that in front of anyone else. There were very few days where we were sent alone to the shop together; Paul had to come with us. Him and Sammy were in love, but our adventures together were the highlight of my life. Until they left me.
Everyone leaves me.
I’m dirty and unloveable.
I crawl over to Amelie’s picture. She left me...after she knew the truth about me, she left. She wouldn’t have wanted a dirty whore like me anywhere near her. I look up into her eyes. My therapist’s voice filters through my mind.
“Trust your gut. When it comes to making friends, never be afraid. Youareworthy.”
I look into Amelie’s eyes again and the truth comes to me: she didn’t leave me, she leftthem. And she came back.
“Amelie loves me, I am not alone,” I whisper.
I’m not alone; I have Amelie, and Jasper. Even Baxter and Kalen. I have good people in my life who care about me in their own ways. I’m not back in hell. I have created my own family.
I rise to my feet and scream.
“I am not alone!”
I punch the picture of Amelie on the wall because she isn’t that girl anymore, and neither am I.
A click sounds, and I turn to a door opening. On unsteady legs, I run to get out of the room and notice a timer above the door that has twenty seconds left on it. I sigh with relief as I enter a room where everyone else is waiting. Miss Davis hands me an envelope with Amelie’s writing on it. I tear it open to read what’s inside:
You’re free
XO
I don’t know if everyone else got a personalised note. It was short, but she knew this would be hard for me. My heart swells and tears form again, but before I have any time to process what’s happening, another door opens.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Amelie
“I am not alone!” she screams and punches at the walls. Her door opens with twenty seconds to spare.
Monty walks into the room as everyone is moved onto the group challenge. They are given no instructions, and we stand in silence and watch as they try to figure out what they have to do. I turn to Monty and ask a question that’s been playing on my mind for a while now.
“Why did I never have to do any of these challenges? Only the obstacle course.”
“Because you were tested in other ways. You were always in, no matter what. Perks of the bloodline. And the obstacle course was only for fun.”
Fun? Could have fucking told me. That was anything but my idea of fun, and I worked my ass off for weeks training for that damn event. Hell, I even got electrocuted during it! For fun?! Fucking sadists.
“Are the other tests set up for those who make it?” Sawyer asks. I raise a brow.
“How will someone not make it through this part of the test?” I question. It’s a group task.
