“Sure you didn’t.” He attempts to wink at her but it’s so sloppy his face looks like he’s having a stroke.
“Well at least we know you can still get it up, Kalen,” I tease, and of course his brothers jump on that.
“Problems, bro?” Slate smirks.
“Speaking from experience, Amelie?” Onyx quips.
“Noooooooooo!” Kalen cries. “Amelie wants to ride my monster tonight and she told me not to get so drunk that it wouldn’t work, but she has nothing to worry about because even soft my cock is bigger than most guys’ when they’re fully erect!”
“God, Kalen, you’re such a colossal arsehole,” Adrianne calls from where she’s standing further back, having absolutely nothing to do with us helping Kalen. I glare at her because I know for sure that she put something in his drink earlier – I just don’t know what. I have to trust her that it wasn’t anything too dangerous. Because if that bitch tries to hurt my boyfriend for real, she’s dead.
I won’t even need Baxter’s help with it.
“Co-losssssssss-al, that’s a good word,” Kalen says, bouncing from foot to foot like he can’t keep still. It’s exhausting to watch. “It has almost as many letters as my cock has inches. Not quite though. Hey, sis, should I rename my monster cock to colossal cock? I’d really like the letters and inches to match though…”
“Sorry Kalen, I don’t know any words long enough,” I reply and everyone around me – even Elsie – groans. “What?”
“Don’t encourage him.”
“Go with elastic,” Jasper suggests.
Kalen’s face screws up with concentration as he starts to sound out the letters phonetically and simultaneously count on his fingers.
“Why?” He frowns when he comes up short.
“Because it stretches,” Jasper replies, deadpan.
Kalen throws his head back and roars with laughter, throwing his arm around Jasper’s neck.
“I knew I liked you for a reason! And you couldn’t just be a stuffed shirt all the time. I’d invite you to join our little brother harem?—”
“Kalen!” I yell.
“But you prefer sticking it in the vagit—” I dive forward and clamp my hand over his mouth before Jasper kills him.
“Right, I’ve had enough of this shit. I say we throw him through the sunroof,” Onyx snaps, hands on hips and a thoroughly pissed off expression on his face.
“Fine.” Sawyer sighs. “Jasper? A hand?”
“My pleasure,” he replies, murder in his eyes.
We step back, and I watch in amusement as the guys all grab Kalen’s limbs and attempt to lift him into the limo through the sunroof. The driver has the sense to lock the car doors so that as soon as Kalen’s in, he can’t escape.
They manage it and Kalen’s clothes fly through the sunroof before the driver can get that closed. There’s enough clothingscattered across the ground for me to know he’s completely naked in there.
“Yeah, so, does anyone feel like getting a taxi home?” Elsie asks, staring at Kalen’s boxers in horror.
“Or another drink? I fucking need one just from the thought of turd bollocks in there being naked,” Adrianne adds.
There’s several cries of agreement and they all turn to leave.
“Wait!” I cry. They stop. “We can’t just leave him. The driver isn’t going to put him to bed, it’s above his pay grade.”
“Amelie, Kalen’s naked, wasted, and horny,” Slate points out.
“Yeah, if any of us get in the back of that limo with him, we’re fucked. Literally,” Onyx adds.
They say it like it’s a bad thing.
