“I don’t even know where to begin with telling you what was wrong with that statement!” I cry, angrily. “Don’t you talk about my brother; you don’t know shit! Hedidteach me to defend myself. It saved my life a couple of times! But I’m not ‘claiming’ anything about my upbringing. I have no reason to lie; life was fucking tough, and I had to be too, if I wanted to survive.”
“Self-defence, when taughtproperly, can save your life,” he lectures.
“Really? So learning this growing up would save me against an attack by a bigger, stronger, older man?”
“Yes,” he replies adamantly.
“Could it save someone from being kidnapped by six bigger, stronger, older men?” I challenge and he hesitates. “Would it have savedmefrom what happened after? Could a fifteen-year-old girl take on six nineteen-year-old guys, all intent on hurting her?”
“Amelie-”
“Can your stupid,” I punctuate each word with a flurry of furious punches aimed at his solar plexus. He doesn’t even try to stop me. “Self-defence lessons... prevent gang rape?!” I give one final hard shove, unleashing years of pent-up agony and rage at Sawyer.
He stumbles. Falls. Hits the floor hard. The stunned silence of the room deafens me. Holy shit…I did it! From the look on Sawyer’s face, he’s just as shocked as I am. He didn’t let me win.
“Why were you sent to Knox Academy?” I demand, standing over him with my hands on my hips. “You owe me this at least.”
I don’t see his attack coming; he swipes my feet out from under me and I go down harder than a sack of rocks.
“Fuck!” I swear when I hit my tail bone. That really fucking hurts. Tears prick at my eyes and I wonder if it’s broken. It has to be badly bruised at least.
Before I can say another word, Sawyer flips so that he’s on top of me, straddling me. All thought leaves me, along with my breath. It’s like time freezes and I can’t tear my gaze away from his slate grey eyes.
“You look really pretty today,” he says. “I like the natural, messy look on you.”
I’m floored by what can only be an actual, in my face, compliment but before I can respond, or even process, his lips descend on mine and I’m blown away.
I don’t know if it’s my imagination, but his kiss is hotter than ever. His lips sear mine, branding and burnishing them; like he’s claiming them for himself. There’s a possessiveness to his kiss that wasn’t there before, and I wonder if he’s making a point about Kalen. It feels like he’s trying to remind me that he had me first, that he’s a man whilst Kalen’s still a boy.
I groan and it allows his tongue easy access into my mouth. His kiss becomes punishing. Bruising in its intensity. Is this a hate-kiss? It certainly feels like a crime of passion. And itisacrime. Sawyer should not be kissing me. We both know it. His hand finds my breast, cupping it roughly and then squeezing. I gasp and he bites my lip harshly. My hips buck against his and his arousal presses against me. Fuck. He wants this as much as I do. I’m scared to move and break the spell, but Isowant to touch him. I drag my nails down his bare chest and he hisses into my mouth, grinding his cock against my core. He likes a little pain too. I just can’t imagine it being this heated with Kalen. I want to beg Sawyer to fuck me right here, right now - I don’t care if we’re caught - but I keep quiet. That is, until his hand slides into my yoga pants, south to my clit and brushes against it. I yelp and buck against him.
Abruptly, he pulls away, leaving me bereft.
“Sawyer... I-” I have no idea what I’m going to say.
But it turns out it doesn’t matter anyway, because he turns on his heel and storms out of the gym, without a word. My eyes fill with unwelcome tears that threaten to spill. The door bangs shut behind him, and the everlasting echo it creates is like a taunt, reminding me how I’m still alone and rejected once more. Bitter tears begin to stream down my hot cheeks and I don’t do a thing to stop them.
Chapter Thirteen
Amelie
I can’t stop replaying what happened between Sawyer and I on Wednesday. It’s Monday now and I’ve been able to think of nothing else all week; it has me reeling. I know he feels the pull. I hate that it is there as much as he does. But I do wish he wouldn’t keep denying it.
“Wait up, sis,” Kalen calls from across the dining room. I’m just getting my dinner and about to head to a seat when Kalen enters the room and yells to me.
“I’m not your sister, Kalen,” I say through gritted teeth for the hundredth time, when he joins me. It feels like this exchange has replaced the standard greeting of “hello” between us.
“Thank God for that, because I want to ask you out.”
“No.” There is no way he is asking me to be his girlfriend, we really don’t know each other and our family situation isn’t ideal. I sigh and walk away, finding an empty table to sit at. Elsie isn’t here yet so I save her a seat with my bag. Kalen picks up my bag and tosses it on the next seat, before sinking into the one that I was saving. I grind my teeth together in annoyance, but don’t sayanything. I’m learning that it’s pointless with Kalen, especially when he has his mind already set on something.
“Hear me out… just one date. Then I’ll be happy.”
“Still no. We’re friends and that’s all we can be.”
“The date will bereallyfriendly if you want it to be.” He grins and winks.
“Kalen,” I warn.
