“Just tonight there were kangaroos hop-hop-hopping across the road in front of cars and they were buff…” I shake my head in amusement at him. Only Kalen could find a kangaroo buff.
“And the mozzies, oh dear god the mozzies! Amelie, why didn’t you warn me?! Those bastards stole my blood.” I look at him more closely and see the welts on his arms, angry and red. “And did you know you have ants that bite your nuts? I don’t even know if I can have kids now. I can’t feel my left nut. That was my favourite nut! Now it’s broken,” he finishes pitifully.
“Kalen—”
“And what sort of place has spiders that spin webs straight after you walk past them so when you turn around...BAM! You have that hairy fucker stuck between your face and its web? I can still taste it. And then there’s owls that dive bomb your car! I used to like owls. Hedwig! Wise old Owl in Winnie the Pooh! The Owl and the Pussycat. Owl Brown!” He’s practically crying now, randomly screaming famous owl names out at me.
“Kalen!” I hiss. “You need to shut the fuck up!”
“Where’s the deadly mist? That’s all that's missing.”
Kalen finally stops ranting when I get him up the stairs. I push my door open and Kalen stumbles inside. We’ve slept apart to respect Chelsea’s wishes, but tonight I plan to sleep in his arms. I just need it.
I manage to help him over to the bed and pull the covers back. He pulls me down with him and we both fall onto the bed. I give him a quick peck on the lips
“Did you know your brother is a criminal?” he whispers conspiratorially to me.
“Yeah, I had an idea. No more so than you and your brothers.” I smirk.
“Touché,” he says, rolling me over so that we’re spooning. “So how about that drunken sex?”
I laugh and Kalen takes that as a go ahead to pull off my pants.
“Kalen stop! I just wanna snuggle.” I try to insist.
“Shush. It’s total bullshit how little frolicking I get to do. I was made for frolicking! Let me show you how frolicky I can be.”
“Kalen—”
He chastises me and tells me to keep quiet. When I try to stop him, he puts a pillow over my head to try to muffle out the noises I’m making. As his head descends between my thighs, I give up fighting him on this. Fucking hell. Drunk Kalen is damn good with his tongue.
Amelie
Almost home time, bet you can’t wait to see me.
Baxter
You bet wrong.
Amelie
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Well I can’t wait to see you. Kalen is driving me nuts. I need to spend time with someone level-headed.
Baxter
And you think that I’m level-headed?
Amelie
More so than Kalen. He thinks Australia has its own version of the hunger games.
Baxter
Can you blame him? You have spiders the size of dinner plates!
Amelie
