“Girl, do not just ‘hi, Em’me!You have secrets you need to spill right away.”
“Oh, I…umm…well,” I stutter through single-syllable words and sounds as my brain desperately tries to figure out some kind of response.
Emily’s sigh drifts through the speaker.“Look, I’m not mad at you, honey…but Max told me about yourinterrupteddate.”
My heart practically falls out of my chest and lands on the floor.“Oh.He told you about that, did he?”
She huffs out an exasperated sigh.“Ava, why didn’t you just tell me you were seeing someone?”
“Well, I’m not.Not really.We’re not together or anything.It’s not a thing,” I sputter, simultaneously explaining and avoiding the truth of the situation.
“Look, I know that you’re private about that kind of stuff, and with everything you’ve been through, I get it.But from the way Max described it, it sounds like you’re hot and heavy with a badass super hottie.”
“We're not hot…or heavy,” I deny.“We’re just?—”
“Don't try to deny it,” she interrupts.“He said youswooned.”She drags the word out like she’s singing a song.
My face heats.No matter how much I want to voice them, I smash my lips together to prevent any further denials from spewing from my lips.I want to pretend that Gray's dominating presence doesn't make me melt.I want to pretend that his touch doesn’t set my nerves on fire, but I can’t.
When I don’t respond, she continues.“This is a good thing, Ava!I’m happy for you.I just wish you would have told me.”
“Oh, well, thanks for that,” I say, trying to imitate the happiness in her voice.“And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.I just…didn’t know what to say.It’s new and we aren’t official or anything.”
A muffled voice yells something I can’t understand before Emily continues, “Look, I have to get back to work, but I just want you to know that I’m really glad you’re seeing someone.Truly, I’m happy that you’ve found something other than your dull routine of books and work.Please, give this one a chance, babe.”
“Thanks, Em.I’ll…uhh…try, okay?”
“That’s the spirit!I’ve got to run.Love you lots!”
My phone drops to the desk with a clunk.Letting my arms drop by my sides, I sink down into my chair.I stare holes into the ceiling while Emily's words replay in my mind.
Something other than my dull routine?What's wrong with my dull routine?I know my life isn't exciting, but it's average.It's safe.At least itwassafe before he made an appearance.He stomped through my quiet life and crushed every semblance of control I had over it.
Control.That's what he wants me to give him.Haven't I had enough men try to control my life?
My father's face flashes through my mind, drunk and angry.He controlled me through pain and fear.Maybe he still does.Who would I have become without him?Would I have been like Emily—fearless and adventurous?What could I have been if I wasn't broken?
I scrub my hands over my face and shove the images of my father aside.I let go of a shaky breath and remind myself that he hasn't spoken to me in years.
“You're safe,” I breathe.
That nagging, horny creature that lives somewhere behind my eyeballs perks up and murmurs,Gray will keep you safe.
A laugh snorts out through my nose.Would shacking up with the big, bad wolf make Red Riding Hood safe?That's what Gray is; he's the wolf.He's the bad guy.
What the Hell does it make me if some part of me wants him?
