The road to the reservation was two lanes that cut right through the desert. The sprinkling of sagebrush and yucca plants on the red, rocky sand stretched for miles while the majestic San Juan Mountains loomed in the background, some of the higher peaks dusted in white powder. The contrast between the desert and the high mountains was one of the reasons Steel never wanted to leave the area. He loved the desolation of the parched desert and the richness of the mountains.
The reservation was smack-dab in the middle of the desert off the main road, marked by a wooden sign with black letters reading “Navajo Tribe—Ancestral Reservation Area.” Located on the reservation, or “rez” as the residents referred to it, was a gas station and a small convenience store. The lack of businesses and economic development were some of the major factors in creating the extreme poverty that was rampant on the reservation.
Parcels of green grass dotted the desolate landscape. As Steel rode deeper into the reservation, some of the run-down houses and junked-up cars made him remember why he couldn’t wait to move away from the crushing poverty. As he turned down one of the streets, he spotted his dad with his young wife who was bursting with a child. His stomach turned and he darted his gaze away from his dad, not acknowledging him as the older man whistled and waved.
His father had cheated on his mother since about the time their sister was born. It could’ve been sooner, but that was the earliest memory Steel had of seeing his father kissing and touching other women. His mother had simply accepted that her husband could not be monogamous, even though he could tell it killed her each time his father spruced himself up and went out to meet one of his ladies.
For Steel, it was bad enough that the philandering made his mother unhappy, but it was the humiliation his father subjected her to that made Steel hate him. He’d openly parade his women in front of her, even having them spend the night while his mother would share the bed with her children. Sometimes the sound of his father fucking one of his sluts would keep Steel awake, but most of the times his mother’s quiet crying kept him from sleeping, anger and sadness battling inside him as he listened to her whimpers.
When Steel had reached fifteen years old, he finally confronted his father and told him that he could fuck whichever whore he wanted, but not in front of his mother. His father, older and worn down by years of heavy drinking, balked and then threatened to beat the shit out of him. Steel, at nearly six feet, had towered over his father. The glint of hatred shining in his eyes must have caused his father concern because he’d just cussed him out and stormed out of the house. But he never brought another woman into the house again.
Three years later, his father moved out of the house and took up residence with another woman he’d been banging on and off for two years. His mother had been devastated that her husband had left her, and she’d never gotten over it. Since he’d left, his father had lived with several women over the years until he’d married the year before. His marriage had been a double whammy for Steel’s mother, since it closed any hope she’d held out for a reconciliation with her husband. To top it off, the woman he’d married was the daughter ofShimá’sbest friend.
Steel couldn’t see what the young woman saw in his dad. It wasn’t his money, since his lazy-ass father hadn’t worked a proper job since Steel was born. His father, Irish on both sides of his family, came from Chicago and graduated from Northwestern with a degree in accounting. He’d gotten a job in Durango, a city about an hour away from Alina, and that’s where he’d met Steel’s mother. She’d been working at one of the restaurants he’d frequented. They dated and his mother got pregnant, so his father had married her. He never let her or Steel forget that he’d married her only because she’d been pregnant and he was a gentleman.
His father had worked twice a year, selling cards for Easter and Christmas. The fucker would raise himself from his chair, don a suit, cap his scotch bottle, and for two weeks he’d go to neighboring towns selling cards to various stores and residents. Then he’d come back exhausted, all his money practically spent on women and booze, giving the last few dollars to his wife. The rest of the year he’d spent sitting on an overstuffed chair, philosophizing about life in between gulps of scotch, fucking any woman who’d have him, and beating his children.
Steel’s mom worked as a certified nursing assistant in one of the nursing homes in town, and if money was real tight, she’d pick up a second job at Leroy’s Diner on Main Street. When Steel turned twelve, he started working at a horse ranch, keeping the job until he left Alina to go to Pinewood Springs. His brother also worked. The only two who didn’t work were his sister and father.
And his dad had the goddamn audacity to whistle and wave to him?Fuck him. Probably wants to show off that he can still knock up a woman. If I were him, I’d wonder if it’s mine.
Steel parked in front of a neatly kept white brick house. He’d grown up in that house, but his mother was fastidious, so it looked like it was brand new. Steel paid for people to mow and water the lawn, replace the roof, and maintain both the exterior and interior of the home.
He took the steps two at a time, knocking lightly on the front door before he entered. His mom was in her recliner, head back and eyes closed. His gaze swept over her, taking in her slackened, weary features and her thinning gray hair. His heart clenched at the sight. The strong woman with long black hair and bright dark eyes had been replaced by a weathered woman whose eyes no longer sparkled. Work, worry, disappointment, and heartbreak had taken their toll on her. His father had done that to her.
“Oh,Shimá, I’ll never understand how you can still love the worthless sack of shit. You should’ve thrown his ass out years ago. Look what loving him has done to you.”
His mom stirred and her eyes fluttered open. She blinked rapidly as if trying to focus her gaze on him, then smiled. “Shiyáázh. What a pleasant surprise. I must’ve dozed off. How is Chenoa?”
Steel padded over to her and leaned down, kissing her cheek. “She’s doing fine. I’m worried about how she’ll do when she gets out. I still don’t understand how this happened.”
His mother stroked his arm. “And you never will. You have to accept that it has and work with her to make sure she doesn’t fall down again.”
He breathed out. “Yeah. Easier said than done. Drugs are fucking hard to kick. I hope she has the strength for it.” He creased his brow. “How’ve you been?” He sat down on the couch.
“Good. Chitsa called.” She chuckled. “You really made her mad. She was screaming and calling you a lot of bad words.”
“I’m glad I pissed her off. Is she taking the kids back?”
His mother smiled, then grabbed his hand and kissed it. “Thank you,” she said softly. “Sometimes I’m not good at saying no, especially to any of you.”
“I know. Chitsa should’ve known better. You let me know if she starts her bullshit again.” She nodded. “Promise?”
She kissed his hand again and whispered, “I promise. You’re a good son. You always worried about me. You’re my firstborn, and we’ve always shared a strong connection. I love Chitsa and Wayne too, but you have always been my protector.” He grunted and she laughed. “I know you don’t like talking about the touchy-feely stuff. Just know I love you very much and I appreciate what you do for me,Shiyáázh.”
“Yeah. So how’re you feeling? You eating?”
“I’m feeling tired, but I’m an old woman so that’s to be expected. I’ve been eating. I wish you’d come over for dinner sometimes. I hate eating alone.”
“I’ll try and come by more often at dinnertime. I meant to ask you about the food stamp cards. How do you keep losing them?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I think that I have them in my purse or in the top drawer of my dresser, but then when I go to use them, the cards are gone. I could swear I had them. Maybe my memory is slipping.”
Steel pursed his lips. “You’re not losing it. Someone’s taking them from you. Besides Chitsa’s kids, who else has been in and out of here?”
Her eyes widened. “No one except for Chenoa and Wayne sometimes. I usually meet up with my friends at the community center to play cards and kibitz.”
A knot formed in his stomach as his brow wrinkled. “Chenoa comes over here a lot, doesn’t she?”
