Chapter Twenty-Three
For the pastweek, Jerry and Kylie had fallen into a routine: texting during the day, fucking at night. Sometimes he’d pick her up at her friends’ houses or around the corner from her dad’s house. He spent his whole day waiting for it to end so he’d be with her. He hated like hell that he couldn’t touch or hold her in front of the brothers, but he knew Kylie wanted it that way for now, and he supposed he did too.
Each time he saw and spoke to Banger, he’d beat himself up for inflicting his president with such disrespect and betrayal. Something had to give with the situation. He’d promised himself numerous times that it would be the last, but it never was. He wanted all of her: her taste, the feel of her skin next to his. His compulsion to kiss and touch her consumed him, and he craved feeling her from the inside. She had become his everything, and as hard as he tried to push his feelings away, he couldn’t. It was like she was what he’d been looking for his whole life. But he knew it was too much, and even though he wanted her, the thought scared the shit out of him. He prided himself on having self-control, but this thing he had with Kylie was out of control, and he didn’t know how to rein it in.
The phone ringing intruded on his thoughts. “Hey, Kylie.”
“Hi. Whatcha doing?”
“Not much. Just hanging at the club until church. How did the job interview go today?”
“I think I did all right, but I’ve thought that for the past two weeks. I can’t believe I’m having such a hard time finding a job. I applied to a few more today. One of them is with the Wildlife Preserve Association, and Ireallywant that job. It has full benefits and it’s right up my alley.”
“Full benefits with a summer job?”
She paused, and he was ready to repeat himself when she said, “No. It’s a full-time job. The last two interviews I had were full-time jobs.”
“You just gonna quit when school starts?”
He heard her cluck her tongue then take a deep breath. “I decided to stay in Pinewood Springs. I’m not going back to school.”
“What the fuck? Why not?”
“I want us to spend more time together. I’d miss you too much.”
Jerry’s head spun. She was dropping out of school for him? “I never asked you to do that.”
“I know, but I want to.”
“Does your dad know ‘bout your decision?”
“Not yet. You don’t seem happy about it.”
He blew out a long breath. He wasn’t sure how the hell he felt about it. Having Kylie around full-time would kick ass, but that would mean a major commitment, and he wasn’t there yet with her. Their fucking was all-consuming, but therelationshippart of it scared the shit out of him. “I don’t want you screwing up your future for what we have.”
“And what do we have?” He picked up a tremor in her voice.Shit.
“A helluva good time. But good times don’t last forever.”
“Is that all I am to you—a good time?”
“Yeah,” he lied.
“I don’t mean anything more to you than all the other women you’ve fucked?”
He couldn’t let her change her life for him. Hell, he couldn’t promise her the type of relationship she deserved. He was confused about his feelings, and blown away at the intensity of the connection they had.Fuck, I know I have to push her away. I can’t let her do this.
“We’re having a good time. Let’s leave it at that. You told me you love college, and now you want to throw it away for me? I can come up and see you sometimes, and when you come home on breaks we’ll hook up. You need to go back to school.”
“I thought we had more between us. I’m willing to go to the community college in town so I can be with you, and you’re telling me not to bother?”
“Pretty much.” His insides clenched with the knowledge he was hurting her.
“So, to you, I’m just another fuck?”
No, Kylie. You’re so much more than that to me. You’re in my system, and no woman has ever been with me the way you have. But I can’t destroy your life. You deserve better.“I wouldn’t say that. You’re by far my favorite.”
“Thanks forthat.” Her voice was brimming with unshed tears, and he wished he could hold her and tell her he was a poor liar. “Can we get together after church?”
