“I agree that would be a problem if he was a habitual liar or if he planned to keep secrets. He doesn't strike me as a man who feels the need to lie often, and the no keeping secrets part, that's one of the demands you have to make, suga. He gotta concede some, too, and the way he looks at you, I think he will, Theory,” Akeira said.
“He's also bossy and cockyand aggravating…”
“But…” Everly prompted gently.
I looked down at the shot glass. “But I don’t think he was playing with me. Not about us.” I bit into a lime, downed the shot, and held up one finger to the bartender.
Hyacinth nodded at what I said like that settled everything. “See? Boom. There you go.”
“That don't ‘boom’ anything!” I snapped.
“It do, though.” She pointed at me with her little straw and closed one eye. “You in love.”
I damn near choked on my new shot. Damn, the bartender was fast. Someone should tip her a lot. The way my head was doing that little fuzzy thing, I wasn't sure it would be me. “I ain't say all that.”
“You didn’t have to,” Hy sing-songed.
“Could you be serious for once?” Emory asked, cutting through Hy’s nonsense before I could fight her. She'd get the best of me tonight, I thought as my brain started to swim. Hell, Em might get the best of me tonight, with her non-fighting ass. Em's next question almost sobered me up, though.
“Do you love him?”
My eyes dropped to the shot that had appeared in my hand.
“It's like magic,” I mumbled, marveling at the little glass.
“If magic is a bartender named Sakia,” Pip said dryly.
“Theory. Answer my question,” Em ordered in her imperious way.
The liquor had me warm now. Warm enough to be honest. Too honest, maybe. But fuck it.
“I…” I let out a breath. “I love him in some way. Or I’m on my way to it. I'on know. I just know I care about him a lot. And I’m crazy attracted to him, which is very unhelpful. Like I be wanting to slap his face and sit on it at the same time."
That got a laugh out of all of them.
“Girl, we know,” Hyacinth said.
“How?” I challenged.
Everly chuckled. “You ain’t exactly subtle when you talk about that man. Not last year, not now.”
“I don’t talk about him like that,” I protested.
“You do,” Epiphany and Emory said together.
I frowned at both of them.Traitors.
Akeira smiled into her glass. “You sound like somebody trying real hard not to want what she really wants.”
I let my head fall back. “Ugh! Y'all make me sick! This is why I should’ve just written this out.”
“No. This is why you needed us,” Emory said softly.
Damn tequila had me all sentimental after she said that. For a moment, I just looked at them. My girls. The people who had loved me through heartbreak and trauma and healing and heartbreak all over again. Around us, the barsounded busy as glasses clinked and music played low, but right then, I felt a quiet kind of peace. My circle was surrounding me. My support system was everything.
Everly touched my arm. “Listen to me. Men like ours…” She glanced over at Real, who was pretending not to watch us. “Theyall got secrets, some darker than others. You don't have to accept just anything. You don't have to stop using your mind. Take your time and figure it out. Ask questions. Set boundaries. But if you love that man, if he loves you, and if he’s showing you that he’s willing to tell the truth now and stand on it, don’t throw away your marriage just because some things are not what you expected.”
I swallowed past a sudden lump in my throat.
