“Yeah,” I admitted softly. “Cautiously. Conservatively. But I really am.”
I realized the truth of it as I said it. Mama’s expression softened immediately. Everly smiled and Emory mouthed, “Aww,” before Elise nudged her leg.
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Emory grinned.
“Make it all weird.”
“It’s already weird,” Hyacinth informed me. “Think about it. You write romance. People falling in love all quick and hot and heavy and look at you. You meet the man and boom?—”
“Here you go with this damn ‘boom,’” Aunt Cynt mumbled.
“Boom,” Hy insisted, “Y’all in love at first sight, you get kidnapped, have to deal with forced proximity, and in an arranged marriage. Theory, you living in one of your books, girl! This is some next-level,Twilight Zoneish!”
The room erupted in soft chatter as the truth of what Hyacinth said dawned on us. Even Granny seemed struck by it all.
“See? You got me in a horror series. This why I don’t tell y’all nothing,” I snapped without heat.
“But you want to,” Saraya teased.
My smile faded a little because… yeah. I did. I settled down into the couch cushions and exhaled slowly. “I think… I think I spent so much time being angry at him that I didn’t realize how much I cared about him.”
Nobody spoke, so I continued.
“I wanted to hate him. It would’ve been easier. And when he first came back, I really thought I did. But then…” I shrugged helplessly. “He just kept being there and doing stuff and I just....”
Mama nodded slightly as my voice trailed off like she understood exactly what I meant.
“I don’t even know when it happened. One day, I was fighting him every chance I got, waiting on him to disappear on me again. Then suddenly… I was looking for him first thing every morning. Missing him when he walked out the room. Sleeping better when he touched me. It scared me how easy I wanted him. And he just…” I laughed weakly. “He just keep loving me like he got something to prove.
“He pays attention to everything. Little stuff. The way I drink my tea and coffee. The fact that I bounce my knee when I’m nervous or excited. He can tell what kind of scene I’m writing from my playlists or when my characters have me stuck. And when I cry…” My voice softened. “Y’all… he acts like it physically hurts him. If I even wince, he notices. He watches my face all the time. This morning, my cramps and thinking about my baby had me in my feelings and before I could even say anything, this man had offered food, heat, and murder. He just completely, completely undoes me in a way I have never been undone.Never.”
Hyacinth blinked. “Okay, rich obsessed men may be my ministry.”
Emory’s eyes filled and she fanned her face. “Okay, well, now I’m emotional.”
“You emotional every day,” Hyacinth said.
“Cuz I’m a nurturer,” Em defended.
Hy side-eyed her. “Cuz you a dramatic.”
I laughed a little before I spoke again.
“I just… I still get scared sometimes. Not of him. Just… scared to trust myself. Scared that I’m making decisions based on feelings and not logic. Like why do I want this marriage so bad now?” I sighed.
“Baby, ain’t nothing wrong with wanting your marriage, with wanting love,” Aunt Cynt said, her voice uncharacteristically low for once.
“Especially not when your person is returning it like that,” Aunt Elise added.
“But what if it changes?” I whispered. “What if one day he wakes up and realizes I’m not enough for him? That I don’t fit his life or I’m not what he wants or?—”
Granny Nette made a soft sound under her breath that stopped me. Her hand stilled in my curls.
“Theory Grace?”
“Ma’am?”
