We stood facing each other, not saying anything else, just connected with our hands and eyes. I didn’t want the moment to end. I wanted to hold on to it, use my fingers to stretch it open and live inside of it for the rest of my life, but then he moved his mouth toward mine and I had never wanted to kiss or be kissed more. Our moist lips connected and even though we had kissed hundreds of times over the past few months this one felt different. There was no holding back. This wasn’t about how I felt about him or even how he felt about me. This was about how we felt about each other, and I could feel the difference. It felt like we were building something that would last, and I wanted to show him how committed I was to it in every way.
I took his hand and led him back to our tent. By now the sky was dark and only the lanterns inside the tent guided our way down the path and back to camp. I went to open the tent but Hayes grabbed an armload of blankets from the back of his truck and laid them out on the ground in front of fire creating a comfy nest of thick cushion.
“What would you think if we stayed right out here?” He looked from side to side. “There’s no one around and I want to make love to you tonight in this beautiful place, under these amazing trees and all of these stars.”
Hayes was not the kind of person to initiate this kind of thing. Sure, he went along with it when it was my idea, but taking the lead was entirely new and I was bowled over by it. Everything he was saying was kind of corny, but even the cheesiest, most over-the-top romantic experience, like making love to my boyfriend under a moonlit sky, doesn’t seem corny when the feelings are real – and nothing could have felt more real than that night.
Usually we ripped each other’s clothes off when we were this horny for each other, but that is not what either of us were feeling that night. It felt like we had all the time in the world. Our mouths and bodies explored with a confidence and slowness that could only have been because of the words we’d said to each other.
We finally drifted off to sleep and it felt like we were living in our own world, not because we were so isolated, but because of what we had created together. I never wanted to leave. But by morning we were back on the switchback heading down the mountain, out of our bubble and toward reality in Chicago.
Berlin Week Ahead Forecast
Atmospheric pressure builds during the beginning of the week as warm fronts and cold fronts collide due to three distinct weather patterns in the region. Temperatures range from warm and comfortable to unseasonably cold. A possible midweek convergence could bring either a steamy surprise storm or a cool, damp steady fog for the next few days.
Chapter 24
Berlin
Hayes
Even through the tinted airport windows I can see that we’ve traded the sun-burnt medieval stone of Barcelona for the grey industrial steel of Berlin. Brady and I have been strictly business since that incredible night with his naked body pressed against mine. I know I’ve been weird but the connection between my emotions and my words is like a clogged artery. I need time to organize my feelings, analyze what they mean, make decisions about next steps that won’t slap me in the face the way they have before.
Feelings can be dangerous if you don’t handle them correctly. After an entire travel day with my anatomy book cracked open in front of me, pretending I was reviewing the appendicular skeleton, I decided the only way forward is with the truth. But I need the right place and time to talk to Brady. He deserves to know that people he is trying most to impress are the ones pulling the strings. But what I know about his parents and how I feel about him are completely tangled up and I can’t find a way to undo the knot.
We exit the airport and the toxic odor of jet fuel and exhaust fills my lungs. Brady coughs. “You okay?” I ask, my hand immediately reaching for his back. He nods and sits on a bench before I can make contact. We have some time to kill waiting for the car. Maybe now would be a good time to talk to him. I swallow hard and turn to him.
“Brady, I wanted to…” I start but a high-pitched horn that sounds like a cartoon interrupts me. Beep-BEEP-BEEP-beep. I turn and see a candy apple red Volkswagen Beetle convertible approaching. I’m guessing it’s a 1977 because I can hear the engine sputtering and I know it can’t have more than 49 horsepower. It’s an amazing car that I’ve never actually seen in person, but when I identify the driver, I wish I hadn’t seen it at all.
“What the hell is he doing here?” I ask Brady as the car honks its way past other vehicles, oblivious to the disruption it’s causing.
“I’m not sure,” Brady says, but his face doesn’t register the level of shock I’m expecting. I knew he was in Berlin, but I was hoping they would have a quick coffee in the afternoon or even a drink at the hotel bar where I could be close by. I don’t trust this guy. “He lives in Berlin. Maybe this is a coincidence.”
“Halo! Halo!” Otto shouts from the driver’s seat, pounding the car horn. Beep-BEEP-BEEP-beep. He waves at us, holding his utterly ridiculous purple tinted glasses with dark black frames in his hand.
“It’s not a coincidence,” I say.
After cutting off a taxi and almost nailing an elderly couple in the crosswalk Otto pulls up to the curb where we’re standing. His once black hair is now white-blond.
“Hello,” Brady says, and Otto kisses him on both cheeks. Otto and I do not acknowledge each other.
“Otto, I said I would be in touch when I landed.” Brady seems as confused as to why he is here as I am, but without the anger. “What are you doing here?”
“I went to drop off something for you at the hotel. To welcome you to Berlin. And it turns out I know the concierge, Sonia. I was in a polycule last year with her cousin. I told her you and I went to college together and, well, we started talking and I said it would be no problem to pick you up and welcome you. Hop in.” He stretches his arm to unlock the door but makes no attempt to get out of the car and actually open it. He’s such an ass.
“Danke, Otto, but is there room for both of us?”
There’s barely room for two, let alone three grown men. “Oh right. I forgothewould be here.” He wrinkles his nose in my direction.
“Hello, Otto.” I spit the words out like little darts.
“Hello, Hey-yas.” He rolls his eyes. I hate the way he says my name. I know he can pronounce it and he chooses not to.
“Otto, I told you Hayes and I are together. I mean I told you we are traveling together.” So, he told Otto about me? What exactly did he tell him? To be honest, I’m not sure where things stand. Are we fake dating for the camera? Real hooking up? Are we friends with benefits? Are we even friends at this point? I was planning to tell him what I know and figure it out but with the arrival of the German asshat, I’m suddenly leaning toward a specialization in cardiology. Dealing with the heart from an anatomical perspective is so much easier.
“I must have forgotten.” Otto shrugs and puts on his sunglasses. “Brady, you are a short king, you can sit next to me and I will make sure you don’t fall out. Hey-yas, put the luggage in the back seat and in the little trunk. Then Hey-yas, you sit next to the door.” Otto pats the seat for Brady to join him and Brady jumps in while I squeeze most of the luggage into the back seat and stuff my backpack and the rest of it into the ridiculously small storage space at the back of the car. I’m watching over the open trunk as Brady inches closer to Otto. What does Otto think he is doing? Otto pushes back the curls that fall over Brady’s ear and whispers something to him. I slam the trunk down so hard the entire car shakes.
“Achtung!This car is fragile and sensitive,” Otto admonishes, and then with a quick change in tone, turns and says, “Just like Brady.” This guy is human slime.
