But the thoughts creep in anyway.
Luke’s voice.
His kisses.
The way he held me. The way he touched me.
The way I was so sure it was love between us.
The cold look he gave me this morning.
The way he turned away from me without alook back.
I squeeze my eyes shut and sink under the water as if I can drown it all out.
It doesn’t work.
Nothing does.
By the time I finally pull myself out of the water, my skin is flushed, and the cold has pushed from my bones. The ache in my chest is still there though, as I dress in cozy sweatpants and a matching hoodie Tessa left for me.
When I open the door and step into the hallway, the cabin is quiet.
I hear the voices as I get closer to the kitchen. Soft and muffled.
Heated.
I freeze.
“I’m telling you. Something’s not right,” Tess says, her voice tight with frustration.
I don’t move.
“He wouldn’t talk to me,” she goes on. “Not really. He just shut me down the way he always does when it’s something that really matters.”
“Maybe he’s handling it his way.” Holt’s voice is calmer, steadier. But even I can hear the doubt in it.
“You know that’s not true.” Tessa struggles to keep her voice low. “You know him as well as I do,” she continues. “Maybe evenbetter. Besides, you saw them last night, too.”
“I did,” he agrees. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.”
There’s a pause, and I can picture Tessa pacing the floor in the kitchen the way she always does when she gets worked up about something.
“Something is going on,” she says. “And it’s about a lot more than just a job. She wouldn’t have shown up here like that if this were just about work.” Her voice softens. “You should have seen her face, Holt. She’s heartbroken.”
The pain in Tessa’s own voice almost makes me cry again. I press my fist to my mouth and swallow it down.
“What did he say when you asked him?”
“It’s more about what hedidn’tsay,” Tessa explains. “He just kept insisting that he didn't need an assistant and even if he did, he would never allow himself to hire one because he couldn’t be a good boss. He doesn’t have it in him.”
I frown, my breath catching.
He said that?
“Wait,” Holt says. “He actually said that? Those words?”
