I may need to learn things the hard way, but I’ll be damned if I’ll repeat my mistakes and hurt Lilly, too.
Just because I fell in love with her doesn’t mean she should have to pay the price.
Tessa has no way of understanding that.
Doesn’t she?
She is in love with my best friend. One of the very few men whocouldpossibly understand. And being with Holt, she would have had to break down some of those very same walls.
Fuck.
I stand there for a moment, my phonestill in my hand, staring out the window as the early winter storm rolls in over the mountains. The snow is already coming down hard enough that I can’t see past the woodshed in the yard. The wind is picking up, driving the snow sideways.
It’s going to be a beast of a storm.
It fits my mood perfectly.
Like everything is closing in around me. Tighter and tighter, until there’s no way out.
I drag a hand through my hair and turn from the window, forcing myself to move and do something. Anything to keep myself from standing there thinking about her.
About the look on her face when I told her she needed to leave.
About the way she didn’t argue.
I did the right thing.
She’s too young. Too sweet and smart and innocent to be with a man like me.
She has her whole life ahead of her.
The last thing she needs is a grumpy mountain man who makes it his mission to shut people out.
There was no version of this that ended any other way. Not without Lilly getting hurt.Morehurt.
A little bit of heartache now will save her in the long run.
I can keep telling myself that, but no matter how many times I try to justify it, I know it’s bullshit.
And that’s the worst part.
For the first time in decades, I let myself feel something for someone else. I opened up and let her in.
It was more than work.Somuch more than work.
It was more than sex. Although the sex was amazing. But there’s only one reason why sex can be that good.
Love.
I fucking love her. And that’s the truth.
For the first time since I left the service, left Cheryl and Tessa behind, and retreated to the mountain to hide, I felt something with Lilly. Something so real that it scared the hell out of me. So I pushed it away.
Before I can let that nugget of truth take root in my head, my phone buzzes in my hand.
Holt.
Of course.
