But it’s not about what I want. It never has been. I gave up that luxury a long time ago.
Wanting something—someone—will destroy them.
I won’t do it again.
I can’t.
So, I steel myself against her warmth. I force myself to ignore the sweet softness of her body and the quiet, easy way she saysgood morning,like last night meant exactly what we both know it did.
I step out of her hold, creating space before I can do something stupid, like give in to my emotions. I’ve already done enough damage. I will not destroy her, too.
“Morning,” I say, workinghard to control my voice and keep my expression cold. Hard.
I see it the moment she realizes something’s wrong.
Maybe not wrong, but different.
The way the smile slips off her pretty face almost undoes me completely. It almost makes me second-guess everything and pull her back into my arms to kiss away the confusion and tell her how I really feel about her.
But I can’t.
The truth is, last night shouldn’t have happened. I never should have taken her like that on my desk.
I crossed her boundaries. Hell, I obliterated them. As if they didn’t matter at all. Because all I could see was what I wanted, with no regard for her or what she wanted. And definitely not what sheneeded.
Hell, none of this should have happened. I never should have let myself get close to her like this. I never should have let myself care. And I sure as hell never should have lethercare. Not for a broken, ex-military, grumpy mountain man like me.
Fuck.
“You should probably pack up this morning,” I say.
The words land sharper than I intend them to. Once more, her expression changes. Hurt merging with confusion now.
“What?”
I don’t look away.
“We crossed a line,” I say coldly. “This isn’t professional anymore.” I recognize exactly how ridiculous it sounds the moment I say it, but I can’t back down.
“Was it…was it ever?”
“I’ll give you a generous severance,” I say, ignoring her question. “Effective immediately.”
“What?” She shakes her head as if that will help her make sense of all this. It won’t. I already know that. “But I don’t.”
“This…arrangement,” I emphasize the word, “has run its course. There’s no point dragging it out now.”
“That’s what this is?” she asks, the hurt on her face is hard to look at. I force myself not to look away. “Dragging it out?”
I ignore that. Because if I don’t, I’ll backtrack, and I can’t do that.
“The severance package is more than fair,” I say instead. “It should give you enough time to get something else. Get you out East.”
She flinches at the reminder of her situationand looks down at her feet for a moment.
When she looks up, her eyes search my face, like she’s trying to find something there that matches what she felt last night.
She won’t. I’ll make sure of it.
