“Hero is…” I cast about for a delicate way to say what I wanted and couldn’t find one. “Pure, and virginal. She is praised for being gentle and kind. A feminine ideal. That’s not me.” A vivid flashback of getting myself off in the gym last night, with Brody on the phone, hit me. Yup. Definitely not pure and virginal.
“It’s called acting, Selena, dear. We can’t just cast people to play themselves.”
“I know! I know that, but I worry it won’t come off as authentic. I-I don’t have the best reputation around here.” I cut myself off, panic and guilt and a horrible, creeping shame moving through me.
“Selena. We chose you to be Hero because we saw some beautiful vulnerability in you. You weren’t scared to let it show. You embodied the spirit of Hero. Yes, she’s innocent and naive in the beginning, but she’s also strong. Strong vulnerability. Sacred femininity, delicate but standing tall. I think you can show all of that better than anyone else who auditioned. I know it’s a big role, so it’s easy to be intimidated by it, but I really think you could make this special.”
“I-I might let you down,” I confessed. “I might ruin it for everyone.”
Director Cho took my hand and squeezed it gently. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
She patted my hand and walked away.
I could run after her. I could insist. But I didn’t want to. Deep down, under the fear, I hoped she was right. I wanted to try.
“We have to celebrate!” Aisha ran up the hall toward me. “What should we do?”
“Hmm, go to the coffee shop?”
“How’s that celebrating? Oh! I know… the old movie theater in town is showingRocky Horror. Let’s get dressed up and go!”
I thought of Brody and his “rules” about going out. What the hell could he even say about the movies?
“Okay, sure, that’ll be fun. Let’s go. Should we invite some other girls?”
“I’ll ask Lily and Eve. You ask Winter, okay? My friend works there; she can always get us tickets.”
“Okay, sounds like a plan.”
The movie theater was all decorated in aRocky Horrortheme. Now that I had my clothes back, I could easily throw together an appropriate outfit.
Aisha and Lily looked stunning dressed up in corsets and shorts, with dark-red lips. Winter and Eve were formidably gorgeous in their costumes as well.
We laughed and sang along to the songs, and when we left, I felt light and carefree. It was a nice feeling. I didn’t deserve friendship from most of these girls, and yet, they gave it freely. The only positive I could take out of what had happened to me was that the mean-girl blinders had been ripped away from me forever. I’d understood in the moment when these kind, smart women had worried about me, even though I’d had no right to their concern, how amazing they were, and how pathetic I’d been. My world had reforged in that crucible of melted skin and cruel laughter.
Now, I was messy and chaotic, just clawing my way through the world, biting and scratching and just trying to survive. But I understood right and wrong now. I got it. What others had learned as children, I’d taken nearly twenty years to understand.
“That was amazing,” Aisha sighed and glanced at her watch. “It’s too early to go home when we’re celebrating!”
“The movie’s over, though,” I told her. I longed to go home and check if I had any messages in private. The last I’d heard from Brody was his announcement that he was coming home. That had been over twenty-four hours ago. It had been crickets since. Considering what had happened between us, video or no video, I was all tangled up in knots when I thought about him. I hadn’t felt like this about a guy in… maybe forever.
“Let’s go to a bar!” Eve said as she checked her phone. “I happen to know that the some of the Hellions are up the street.”
“You have a fake ID?” I wondered.
“I’m twenty-one already,” she laughed.
“Oh, okay. Me, too.” I couldn’t quite get my head around the fact that since I’d been gone, time had kept passing here. Now, my friends were juniors and twenty-one. I was twenty-one, too, but not a junior, thanks to doing nothing academic at all in California.
“Sooooo, let’s go then!”
“Let’s go,” Lily chimed in. “It’ll be fun.”
“You want to see Cayden lose his mind when he sees you in that outfit, right?” I teased her.
She laughed, her freckled cheeks warming up. “I’m sure he won’t even notice.”
I smiled. “Yeah, right. I highly expect you all to be carried off by your boyfriends almost as soon as we get there.” I linked my arm with Aisha’s.
