I finished the final line softly, my voice full of aching despair and disappointment, instead of anger and frustration, feeling in that moment Hero’s heart ache.
Silence fell again in the absence of my voice. I watched the panel, embarrassed.
Director Cho looked at her colleagues and then smiled at me again. “Thank you, Selena, I think that’s all.”
I nodded and stood awkwardly. The walk to the door was excruciating. I felt all of their eyes on me, judging me, weighing my worth. I escaped into the other room with a shudder, and Aisha was there.
“Did they get you to read twice? That’s huge!”
“Is it? I’m sure the first time was just so bad, they gave me another chance,” I demurred.
Aisha narrowed her eyes at me. “You don’t know anything. You’ll see. They really liked you. I can’t believe I’m friends with one of the stars of the show!”
“Very funny,” I muttered, but Aisha’s enthusiasm was infectious. I couldn’t deny there was a high from having done something so scary.
It felt good, I realized, as we stepped out into the bright Saturday sunshine. Really good.
The day only managed to get better when I got a message later. I’d gone for lunch with Aisha, and then she had to go. I’d decided not to go back to my bully’s domain and instead wandered around the bookstores on Main Street.
Then I got the message.
Bellend: What the fuck did you put in my smoothie?
Me: Whatever do you mean? I have no idea, I’m sure, though it’s probably best to hang out in a bathroom for the rest of the day.
Bellend: You’re playing with fire, little heathen. I guess you don’t like your independence as much as I thought you did. I’ll remedy that shortly.
Me: Once you’re done in the bathroom?
My cackle startled the couple walking behind me. I tucked my phone away, not looking as I was walking, and immediately paid the price by bouncing off someone.
“Oh God, I’m sorry,” I said immediately, flinching away as hands came up to steady me. My hindbrain clocked the height of the person in front of me, the big hands, and overall energy and knew it was a man. I was jumping back before his hands could make contact with me.
“My fault,” a deep voice said.
I peered up and took him in. Uniform and all. He was a cop. A familiar cop.
“No, it was mine. It’s you,” I pointed out dumbly.
The guy who had come around to the house on an errand, for the Sinclairs’ security logistics. I’d learned from Arthur that houses that big and impressive sometimes coordinated their security details with the local cops.
He smiled down at me. He was big. I itched to leave.
“No problem. And I got that info from your dad, so don’t worry.”
“He’s not my dad,” I heard myself saying instinctively, and then cringed. That sounded lame. Why did I care what this man thought? I didn’t.
“Right, he’s your stepdad, yes?” the cop was saying.
I nodded tightly and went to walk around him.
Then he touched my arm, stopping me, and that familiar freezing sensation descended over me.
“You know, it was plaguing me the other day… where I’d seen you before,” he said.
I fought my panic and forced myself to look at him. “We’d never met before you came to the house.”
“I said where I’dseenyou before. I know we hadn’t met,” he said slowly. “I just couldn’t place it… then I remembered the video I saw a while back. Well, more than a year ago now, I guess.”
