Opening my eyes to gaze back up at her, I say, “I really have no idea, and I’d rather not get myself worked up by speculating on it.”
“Is she staying here at the inn?”
I let my head drop onto her thigh and sigh against her skin. So many questions that I don’t have the answers to and don’t want to think about. But I know she’s only asking them because she cares.
“Sorry,” she says, her fingers finding their way into my hair again. “I just hate that you’re stressed, and I don’t know how to help.”
“This is helping,” I tell her truthfully, turning my head so my cheek is resting on her thigh now. “And you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”
“I don’t mind messy.”
She’s being sweet, and yet, I almost laugh at that. An image of her face covered in blueberries comes to mind.
I should get off the floor and get myself together. Enough of thispathetic display. I was supposed to be calmingher. But it feels good letting her comfort me, so I stay like this another minute while she rubs my shoulders.
Then, finally, I force myself to stand. Now she’s the one gazing up at me. “I’ll check tomorrow if she’s staying here. For now, I need to make it to my car without her seeing me.”
“Or you can stay here,” Riley suggests.
I tilt my head at her, although I’m unsure why I’m surprised by that. I’ve stayed here quite a few times—and now that I’ve finally confessed to Brenden about it, I don’t even have to feel any type of guilt. So the suggestion isn’t out of the ordinary. But after this freak out, I wouldn’t think she wants me here.
“Are you sure?” I check. “I’m pretty emotionally drained right now. I don’t think I’m up for...”
I hesitate to say sex, already realizing how shitty that sounds. I don’t want to imply that all she and I are doing is having sex. We’ve already agreed it’s more than that. And by the way Riley narrows her eyes, it appears that she understood what I was going to say, and she also finds it shitty.
“You think I only want you to stay with me if you’re going to make me come?”
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
I glance around the room as if I might find a place to hide. I don’t suppose I’d fit under the bed. And well, that would be absurd. But this shift in our dynamic is unsettling. It feels like I’ve been too vulnerable tonight. I’ve let her see parts of me that I normally keep hidden, and now I’m worried this will change how she feels about me.
Which isn’t fair, I know. Because she’s let me see all her vulnerable parts, and it’s only made me lo... like her more. But vulnerability is clearly not my strong suit.
When she rises off the bed, I open my mouth to apologize again, butthen she wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug, and I have to swallow the lump in my throat instead. She rubs a hand over my back, and I sink into her. Being held like this eases the tension in my body. It even starts to quiet my mind of all the negative thoughts that have been running through it since I first saw Christy in the dining room today.
Riley eventually pulls back, but she keeps one comforting hand on my waist. “I’m not sure if the way your ex treated you has made you think that your worth in a relationship comes from your sexual skills, but I promise, I want you for so much more than that.”
I knew that already. But I can’t deny how nice it is to hear it.
Taking her hand, I give it a long squeeze. “I really shouldn’t have said that. I want you for so much more than sex too.”
She graces me with a soft, beautiful smile. “So will you please stay? I don’t want you to be alone tonight.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “I don’t want to be alone either. I want to be with you.”
With that settled, we both start getting ready for bed. It’s too early to sleep, but we take a quick shower together, then she puts on a light pink camisole and sleep shorts set, and I wear my T-shirt and underwear. We get comfortable under the covers and watch TV for a while, occasionally sharing light kisses, until the exhaustion from the day hits me. Then Riley arranges us with my back to her front, presses a kiss into my hair, and holds me like that as I fall asleep.
She can’t make me forget entirely about Christy, but she makes me feel like I can handle whatever bullshit my ex will try to throw at me. Because as awful as Christy is, she can’t take this from me.
Inthemorning,Ihave to work. That’s the only thing that could get meto leave the comfort of Riley’s room. A few of my shirts and shorts have migrated over here in the past couple weeks, so at least I won’t be caught wearing yesterday’s outfit again.
I sneak downstairs and stop at the check-in desk, ignoring the knowing look Danny gives me when he sees menotcoming through the front doors. “Can you tell me if a woman named Christy Leary is checked in here?” I ask him. “And how long she’s staying if she is?”
He frowns deeply. “Don’t think I can give out that info.”
“But I work here.”
“Yeah...” His eyes flit to the computer monitor, then back to me. “But you don’t work the desk, so it still feels kind of unethical.”
