He thinks there’s some other emotion he can’t identify, way down at the bottom of his stomach, trying to come up. But no,fuck. It’s his dinner from last night. Running to the bathroom, he makes it right in time before he starts vomiting.
After, he tears off some toilet paper to wipe his chin. He stays there on his knees on the cold linoleum floor a few minutes in case he’s not done being sick.
Why would Skyler do this? He had to have known it would affect Trevor too.
Back when they were in the band, Skyler wanted to come out. Wanted both of them to sayfuck youto their management, the record label, and their contracts, and just do it. But Trevor wouldn’t let him.
Skyler’s obviously decided now that the freedom is worth any potential blowback. And that’s all kinds of kittens and rainbows wonderful for him, isn’t it?
But couldn’t he have come out without dragging Trevor along with him?
Fuck. This is so not good.
As he goes back to the couch to try to figure out what he’s supposed to do now, he remembers Courtney sent him another link. Something about the concert. He sighs, figuring this can’t be any worse than what he just watched, and clicks.
Skyler is onstage—looking unfairly gorgeous in a sparkly purple and silver tank top and pants set—talking to the crowd, telling them to pay attention to something. And then he’s singing “Heartbreak Honey,” and Trevor forgets to be mad for a second because Skyler looks so damn gorgeous, and his voice is smooth and sweet and slipping into all the corners of Trevor’s heart.
Then he realizes what Skyler’s doing. The song Trevor knows as well as any of his own, he’s altering it. Changing the gender-neutral pronouns to masculine ones.
And it’s something in his eyes—some spark, some flame of honesty, of pure, raw emotion—that softens Trevor. He’s always known the song was about him.But the way Skyler’s singing it now, with that look in his eyes… It’s the first time Trevor feels that Skyler is singing it directly to him. For him.
It feels like maybe, just maybe, in some twisted way, this isallfor him.
Holy shit.
He’s supposed to call his publicist back. But instead, his fingers scroll through his contacts, flying pastCand going all the way down toS.
The moment he taps on Skyler’s name, his heart starts pounding and he almost hangs up. This is ridiculous. They haven’t spoken in five years. They’ve been out of each other’s lives now for as long as they were in them.
Each ring sounds as loud as a trumpet blast in his ear. Skyler’s not going to answer. This probably isn’t even his number anymore. But even if it is, he’s obviously not going to answer.
“Hello?”
“Uh, hello?” Trevor says, startled. “I mean, hi. Skyler?” He doesn’t know why he’s asking that. Of course it’s Skyler. From the one word, he knows it’s him.
“Yeah, it’s me. Trevor?”
“Yeah.”
Skyler makes an undecipherable noise. “What’s… um… How are you?”
“Screw you,” Trevor responds.
“Um. Okay.”
He takes a breath, attempting to curb his anger. “Wait, let’s try this again. Hello.”
“Hello,” Skyler says once more. “Is there something you wanted to say beyond that?”
“Yes,” he says. He’s just not sure what it is.
“Well, I’m waiting,” Skyler tells him, and Trevor’s not sure if it’s impatience in his voice or amusement.
“You’re an asshole.”
“Am I?” Skyler says. “Because I’m not the one who called you only to cuss you out.”
Ugh.Fucking hell. This conversation would be difficult enough without a hangover. Trevor’s emotions are running extremely high and they’re spilling out in all the wrong places. He needs to get himselftogether.
