Is he still too needy and selfish?
He’s trying not to be. He’s trying to be whatever Trevor needs. Trying, trying, trying.
Right now he’s trying to concentrate on holding this downward dog. Somehow he managed to convince Trevor to give yoga a try with him, desperate to provide Trevor with a distraction from the phone he’s been checking for updates since the moment they woke up this morning. But while it may be a good distraction for Trevor, watching Trevor move through the flow is proving to be quite the distraction forhim.
With Trevor’s body right here beside him, stretching out, Skyler wants him so badly it’s like a spark shooting down his spine. He wants so much. Not just to touch—although that impulse is strongest of all at the moment—but also, he wants infinite more mornings like this, simply being together.
But he needs to keep himself in check because he can’t risk scaring Trevor away. Having him here, even if it’s not in every way that he wants, is so muchbetter than nothing. Better than the five years of walking around feeling like part of his soul was missing.
And if this is all he gets to have—to see Trevor but not to touch him,reallytouch him—it’ll have to be enough. He’ll find a way for it to be enough.
“This is awful. How did you make it look so easy?” Trevor complains loudly.
He bites back a laugh. “It’s okay if you can’t get your legs totally straight, or if your heels don’t touch the mat. Focus on getting the proper alignment.”
“Well, is this the proper alignment, or what? How do I know if I’m doing it right?”
Skyler glances over, but it’s hard to see what Trevor’s doing from Skyler’s practically upside-down vantage point, so he stands and goes over to him. Using all his self-control to ignore Trevor’s ass in the air, he places a hand on his upper back and presses down gently between his shoulder blades. Trevor lets out a noise of surprise and almost falls out of the pose entirely, but Skyler grabs on to his hip with his other hand to steady him. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Trevor says. “I told you I’m not made for this stuff.”
“I disagree.”
“You can disagree all you want, but my lack of flexibility proves otherwise, and my hamstrings are starting to hurt.”
Skyler realizes he’s still got both hands on him and immediately removes them. “Sorry,” he mumbles again as Trevor stands. “But you don’t have to be flexible to do yoga. And if you practice it enough, you’ll become more flexible.”
“If I remember, you’ve always been pretty flexible,” Trevor tells him.
“Imagine how much more flexible I am now.”
As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he hears how they might sound. And Trevor is very possibly thinking the same thing, because he stares at him a few beats, unblinking, his mouth forming a tinyO, like he was about to say something but forgot it.
That spark of wanting shoots down Skyler's spine again, but he reminds himself he can’t have what he wants. Except…
Trevor’s eyes drift down his body, and when they move back up, they appear to settle somewhere around his mouth. Skyler sneaks his tongue out to wet his lips, and he hears the hitch in Trevor’s breath.
His feet take a step closer of their own accord.
There’s barely any space left between them now.
The warning bells in his brain clash with the erratic drumbeats of his heart.
Then Trevor steps back and shakes his head, almost to himself. As if Skyler isn’t even there. He doesn’t speak.
The tension in the room is so thick that Stella must pick up on it. She lets out a bark, startling them both, and when they turn to her, it’s evident they’re going to pretend whatever the heck that was didn’t happen.
“I should take her out,” Trevor says. “And I’m hungry, I could grab us some food.”
He nods. “Sounds good. Do you want me to send Mike with you?”
“No, it’s okay. I can blend.”
“Okay. Extra penthouse key is on the counter. Show it to the door guy and he’ll let you back in the building.”
“Thanks. I’ll just, um, get changed.”
“Okay.”
