Skyler hums thoughtfully. Peoplearecomplicated, that’s for sure. Life is complicated. That’s something he learned years ago.
“So we split our assets evenly and went our separate ways,” Trevor continues. “And that’s that. It’s a sad story, but not in the way people think.”
“Wait.” Skyler frowns. “You gave her half ofyourmoney? I’m sure a judge wouldn’t have—”
“I know,” Trevor cuts him off. “But I wanted to be done with it, and I still felt like I owed her something. And I don’t know. Maybe a small part of me wanted to punish myself.”
He doesn’t understand that at all. “You were confused, and you wanted to make a relationship work. You didn’t deserve to be punished for that.”
Trevor looks at him, something Skyler can’t quite read in his eyes. “Maybe I was punishing myself for the relationship Ididn’ttry hard enough to make work.”
As the credits toa movie roll, Skyler’s still reeling from all the stuff Trevor said. Don’t quiz him on whatever they watched.
He’s seen Trevor vulnerable before, but not in a long time. After Trevor made that comment about not trying hard enough to make their relationship work, he closed himself off, angling his body slightly away from Skyler as he finished his food, indicating the conversation was over.
But Trevor still stayed when Skyler asked if he wanted to watch a movie. And now he’s curled up at the end of the couch, wrapped in a blanket that Skyler grabbed for him. They haven’t said much else to each other in the last two hours. But he stayed.
Skyler doesn’t even know where to start with talking to him. Did Trevor really suggest it washisfault their relationship ended? How can he think that? Skyler’s the one who fucked it up.
He was needy, and he pushed too hard for things Trevor wasn’t ready for, and he was a jerk about Trevor having to pretend to date Sierra.
Trevor had to listen to the interviewers constantly asking Skyler about the famous women he was supposedly hooking up with. Had to endure the playboy image their management pushed on Skyler. Had to sit there and listen to the jokes and innuendos. And Trevor did it, because he knew it wasn’t real. He knew Skyler loved him and would never want to be with anyone but him.
So Skyler had no right to be upset about Sierra. But the difference was that Skyler was only supposedly hooking up with these women—he had to go off and be seen with them, but they weren’t spending time with the band—whereas Trevor was supposedly in love with Sierra. That was the narrative their management pushed for. Sierra joined them on tour and attended events with them. Skyler had towatchTrevor pretend to be in love with her right in front of him. Had to watch Sierra get to hold the hand that was supposed to be his to hold.
But still, he could have been more mature about it. Instead of throwing tantrums and pissing Trevor off and accusing him of not caring enough about their relationship. He made it so that being with him was too difficult. He pushed Trevor toward Sierra. He knows that.
When Trevor lets out a yawn, his eyes falling closed for a few moments, it unearths an instinct in Skyler to take him to bed. To tuck him in and take care of him. Even though when they were together, it was usually the other way around. He remembers pretending to be asleep sometimes so Trevor would carry him to bed. And Trevor knew he was pretending, but he always did it anyway.
“Why don’t you ever stay the night?”
As soon as the words leave Skyler’s mouth, he realizes they’re crazy. Because Trevor looks wide awake now and ready to bolt out the door.Shit.
“I just mean,” he rushes on as Trevor sits up properly, letting the blanket fall off his shoulders, “so you wouldn’t have to drive all the way home when you’re tired.”
“It’s thirty-five minutes,” Trevor says.
“Right, yeah, I know.” God what is he doing? He’s going to mess everything up again.
But then—“I didn’t know you’d want me to stay.”
Oh.
Trevor’s eyes are curious as they peer at him. Cautious, but curious. And after the heavy emotional talk they had tonight, Skyler still feels ripped open. It’s impossible not to be honest with him.
“I like having you here, so why not? I’ve got plenty of rooms. It doesn’t have to be… I only mean to sleep, obviously. I’m not trying to like—” He cuts himself off, because whatishe trying to do?
Trevor stands and starts folding the blanket. “No, I know you mean as friends. But I can’t. I have Stella at home.”
“Right. Duh. I’m sorry.” He should take the easy out and let this go, but instead he says, “What about next time? You could bring her with you.”
“Bring my dog here?” Trevor says, looking pointedly around the room.
“Oh, come on. You think I’m afraid of a little dirt and slobber? I haven’t changed that much.”
He doesn’t mean that to sound like an innuendo or anything, but Trevor's raised eyebrow and quirked lip suggest he might have taken it as one.
“Um.” Trevor passes him the neatly folded blanket. “I guess I could do that. Next time.”
