When he paused, Skyler thought that was all this was about. That Trevor was frustrated with the typical band stuff and taking it out on him. But it turned out, he wasn’t done. He was only catching his breath.
“And I’m mad that yesterday you promised you’d make me tacos for lunch when I got back today, but when I got back you were still asleep and smelling like tequila, because you couldn’t even bother to shower after you had the time of your life last night.”
Oh.Skylerhadsaid he would make tacos.Shit.
But.
“Well I’m sorry I went out and had fun instead of waiting around here for you like a good househusband while you were taking your mistress to a comedy show that you knew I wanted to see.”
Trevor gave him a severely unimpressed look. And all right, that was immature. “Oh, I know you want to have fun,” Trevor said dryly. “We’re finally back at home, and I’d hoped we’d be able to spend time together and things would get…” He shook his head. “But no. I still barely see you because you’re constantly going out with all your new celebrity friends!”
Skyler narrowed his eyes and wrapped his hands around the island countertop, squeezing hard until the edge dug into his palms. “And you’re with Sierra all the time.”
“Because I have to be! You know that.”
Skyler shrugged. He did know. But it didn’t matter.
Because how did Trevor not understand that Skyler loved him so much his bones hurt when he was away from him? And yeah, maybe he’d been unconsciously trying to distance himself from him, but only so he could condition himself to get used to the pain.
Since he couldn’t be with Trevor all the time.
Maggie had made sure of that.
Trevor had refused to do the fake engagement and Maggie had let it go, but in exchange, she’d been sending Trevor and Sierra out on more and more public outings.
“Do you even care that we’re performing at the Grammys tomorrow night,” Trevor said, “and then we’re back on the road to start touring the next day? And it feels like all that this time we’ve supposedly had home together has done for us is tear us further apart?”
Unclenching his jaw, Skyler told him, “Of course, I fucking care. I care about all of that, but I’m wondering which you care about more, the band or me.”
“God, don’t fucking start with me about coming out again,” Trevor snapped. “I’m doing the best I can for both of us. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing everything I can to make you happy and make this relationship work, while you’re doing nothing but whine and get drunk.”
He couldn’t believe it. “Is that really what you think? Because I’m doing everything I can for you too!”
“You… You weren’t even at my mom’s funeral.”
Wait.
What?
Skyler was stunned. Stunned Trevor felt that way, stunned he would say it to him, stunned he would throw something like that in Skyler’s face.
In the moment it took him to snap out of it, Trevor moved around the island and walked right past him. Skyler tried to grab for his arm but missed, his reflexes not so sharp thanks to his stupid hangover.
He rushed to follow him into the living room, not letting this go becausehow fucking dare he. Trevor knew he would have moved heaven and hell to be there for him.
“You told me not to come!” he shouted at Trevor’s back.
Trevor turned around slowly, his shoulders sagging. “I couldn’t let you throw your career away for me.”
“So then how can you hold it against me now?”
“I’m not. I’m not saying it’s your fault you weren’t there. I’m just saying that if I’d been dating someone else, they could have been there. It would have been easier.”
Skyler still couldn’t believe he was hearing all this. He tried desperately to work past the lump in his throat and find the words to make this right. “I don’t care about easy.” His eyes pleaded with Trevor to believe him. To understand. “I only care about you.”
“And that doesn’t scare you?” Trevor asked.
“No.”
