He plays it for him, and by the time he’s finished, Skyler’s crying. Trevor shakes his head fondly as Skyler attempts to get himself together. Skyler’s always been such an easy crier, crying more often when he’s happy than when he’s sad. And Trevor would tease him for it if he wasn’t so damn happy himself.
“I know we agreed we weren’t really starting over,” he says once Skyler’s calmed down. “But I would if we had to. Because being here with you now makes it all worth it.”
Skyler launches himself at him then. Trevor barely has time to move his guitar out of the way before he has a lapful of long gangly limbs and soft skin. “I would too,” Skyler tells him earnestly. “You know I would.”
All Trevor can do is nod and kiss him. The song said everything he needed to say.
In the last twenty-fourhours, Skyler’s offered almost as many times to bring Trevor into the studio with him to record Trevor’s song so that he’ll have a professional demo to send to labels. But Trevor’s been reluctant to agree. Yes, he wants to record it, but he can afford to pay for his own studio time.
Which is a concept Skyler isn’t quite getting. Not the fact that Trevor has money, but the fact that they have two separate bank accounts. The idea that his money and Trevor’s money aren’t in fact the same thing.
When Trevor first suggested he help contribute to Skyler’s bills for the house—because it’s become pointless trying to pretend he doesn’t live here now—Skyler brushed him off. But he’s going to push for it. He’s aware the money he’s offering is essentially nothing to Skyler, but it’s the principal of it for him.
But his hesitance to get into the recording studio isn’t only about money. There’s still a lot he’s been thinking about in terms of his place in the music industry and what he has to offer. He’s been struggling with an idea for a while now, and the best way to work it out would probably be to talk about it with the person who knows him best.
So while they’re in the kitchen making dinner together, he decides to broach the subject.
“Are you paying attention?” Skyler asks, waving a slotted spatula at him.
Trevor laughs. He finally asked Skyler to teach him his mom’s lasagna recipe. He never bothered to learn before, because he had Skyler to make it for him back then, so he hasn’t gotten to eat it in years. He may have Skyler again, but it’s important to him to learn how to do it himself anyway. “Yeah, I’m paying attention, but I’ll admit my mind’s a bit preoccupied with something else too.”
“Share please?” Skyler requests so sweetly that Trevor can’t resist giving him a kiss on the forehead.
“What would you think about me starting my own record label?”
Skyler drops the spatula into the skillet of ground beef. “What? Are you serious? I think that would be amazing!”
“I’ve been so careful with my money, saving it so I’ll always be comfortable,” Trevor says, as Skyler steps away from the stove, giving him his full attention. “But I’m wondering if it’s time to take a risk. I’d love to be the one to find newartists and take a chance on them. And I’d want to sign people strictly for their music, not based on some image or role they could fill. I mean, I wouldn’t sign someone if I knew they were an asshole, but you get it, right?”
Skyler nods and waits for him to finish explaining.
“There are so many talented musicians out there who never get anywhere in the industry because execs only want sure things to line their pockets even more. But I think if you find artists who truly care about the music they’re making, you’ll also find an audience for that music. People connect with music when it feels authentic.”
“I totally agree with all of that,” Skyler says, nodding more enthusiastically. “How long have you been thinking about this?”
He shrugs. “The last couple years. But I never seriously considered doing it until now. It’s just that, when I think about making a new album, I don’t want to do it with the label that dropped me as soon as I didn’t make as much money as they wanted me to make for them. And I certainly don’t want to do it with the label that took advantage of our ages and naivety and got us to sign shitty, constricting contracts when we were teenagers.
“If I have the money to make the album myself, maybe I should. It’s a risk putting my own money into it up front, and I understand I may not sell enough to get all the money back, but at least I’d have the creative freedom to put out whatever songs I want. And I could get a loan if I need to, so I’d have more money to invest in other artists. It could pay off or it might not, but I think I could be really happy doing something like that.”
Skyler’s staring at him so intensely Trevor’s nervous for a moment. Like maybe it sounds insane when he lays it all out there, and Skyler’s going to change his mind and tell him it’s not a good idea. But then Skyler breaks into a smile. “You know, whenever I’m sure I know you inside and out, that I already love every single part of you, you go and give me something more to love about you. And I… I feel so lucky that you picked me.”
Trevor’s cheeks heat at the praise. “Pretty sure I’m the lucky one. Because you’reeverything. And you’ve always made me want to be better. A better musician, a better friend, a better son.” He thinks of the engagement ring Skyler has stashed away. “A better partner.”
Skyler doesn’t say anything, just stands there with slightly wide eyes, and Trevor hopes he didn’t say too much. But he doesn’t think he did.
Then Skyler moves a tiny step closer and says, quietly and a little breathless, “You’re the best partner.” He takes Trevor’s hand, squeezing it. “And honestly, I think you’d be great at running your own label. You were always good at figuring out the business side of things for the band. Your instincts are smart, and you’re one of the best songwriters I’ve ever met. You could really help people put out incredible music.”
Trevor nods in agreement. Because yeah, he’d say he’s pretty good at the music thing. And it’s been his dream for as long as he can remember. But…
It might not be the thing he’s best at, and that’s okay.
Because right now, standing in this kitchen making dinner with Skyler, he wonders if maybe the one thing he can do better than anyone else in the world is love Skyler James exactly as this man deserves to be loved.
And if that’s his true purpose in life, he’ll be more than happy to fulfill it.
He can always make music for himself, and if other people happen to enjoy it, that’s great. But if they don’t, he’ll still have Skyler. He’ll still get to spend the rest of his life making this man happy, which sounds like the most worthwhile dream in the world.
He’s likely gone all gooey-eyed, because Skyler chuckles and says, “What?”
