“Look, forget it,” Skyler says. He sets his guitar on the couch and goes to Trevor, perching himself on the arm of the chair and hugging Trevor toward him. “I know some people would speculate, but they always do. I think most people would just assume I like the song. And I already said I had feelings for you in the past, so I don’t think they’d read too much more into it. But if you’re worried about it, I understand.”
He’s not sure which is worse—Skyler pushing him or being understanding. Either way, it feels like Trevor’s failing him already. Or should he sayagain.
“I’m just not ready to be in the public eye like that again,” he says. “I’ve gotten used to being ignored by the media and it’s been easier that way.”
When Skyler cringes at his words, he instantly regrets them.Fuck.
Trevor once told Skyler he thought it would be easier if he was dating a regular person instead of another celebrity. Instead of Skyler.
Dumbest thing he’s ever said. Even if it was true.
He relinquishes his hold on his knees in order to slide an arm around Skyler’s waist, finally returning the hug. “I didn’t mean—”
“I know. And I said I understood. You have the right to privacy.”
“I just think it’s too soon. After you coming out, and mentioning my name…”
“Trevor.” Skyler squeezes him once, then lets go. “It’s fine.”
He should drop it, accept that Skyler’s fine with this. But a seed of worry starts to grow that this could be what ends them again. So he needs to ask something. “What if I’m never ready?”
Skyler looks conflicted, the corners of his mouth dipping down. But then he sighs and places a soft kiss on the top of Trevor’s head. He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t look too upset when he disentangles himself from Trevor and returns to his seat on the couch.
This time when Skyler sings, it’s one of his own songs, “Map of You.” Trevor relaxes slightly. He knew Skyler planned to sing this one, so he’s prepared for it. Even if it sounds so much like a response to “Haunted.”
Friends tell me go out and meet someone new
But it’s hard when all I still think about is you
The way you laugh, way you taste
That tempting come and get me look on your face
Oh, it’s true
There’s a map inside my mind
Leading to treasure I can never find
Know your body better than I know my own
Every dip, every curve, every bone
Spent years exploring, all my time adoring
But now I lie in bed alone
Curled up with nothing but my map of you
Trevor waits until Skyler finishes the song to ask, voice laden with teasing sarcasm, “So who’s that one about?”
Skyler laughs and tells him to shut up. Then he plays some more, but he’s just messing with random chords, nothing Trevor recognizes. When he opens his mouth again, it’s not to sing but to say, “I could quit.”
“Quit what?”
“Music.”
“Ha,” Trevor says. Because he assumes he’s joking.
