“As you often do, Nadar. And we are alone. Call me by my name.”
“I don't know how you feel about me, but I think I'm getting too attached. I need to do my job, and it's become difficult—”
Jucai raised a hand to stop me. “If you think to make me beg or fight for you, you'll be sorely disappointed. I am not that man.”
My chest clenched. I had thought we could continue our sexual relationship if I were more careful with my feelings, but you can't control how you feel. My very reaction to his callous words was proof of that. It was safer to end things now, before Igot more attached. Before the newness wore off and the Sea King turned his attention elsewhere.
“I would never presume such importance, nor do I want you to beg or fight. I like you, Jucai. Too much. So, I think it's best we end things now.” I softened my tone to add, “I cannot allow myself to fall in love with you.”
Eyes intense, Jucai whispered, “Why not?”
“There is nowhere for us. A bird may love a fish, but where would they live?”
“We may transform into animals, but we are not animals, Nadar.”
“No, but we are from two very different worlds. You cannot leave yours, and I don't want to leave mine. I need the sky, Jucai.”
“I see.” His entire demeanor changed in a heartbeat, his gaze going aloof and his body relaxing. “Very well, Lord Nadar. We will be king and diplomat, that is all.”
Everything in me screamed to stop this, to hold on to him for as long as I could, but that only made me more adamant to end it. “Thank you, Your Majesty. Now, shall we attend King Saric? I have news for you both.”
“We shall.” Jucai swept out of the room, even more distant than when we were strangers.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Our meeting with King Saric was just shy of painful. I shared what Diaya and Daha had told me, and King Saric promised to alert King Jucai when they found the Howl. In return, King Jucai vowed to question Sir Matei about whom he'd gotten close to recently. With business done, King Saric offered to show Jucai around the city and then take him out to the Erimbar Oasis. King Jucai declined, citing a need to return to Kansu to protect his kingdom and dread.
King Saric, of course, understood and rode down to the wharf with us to bid the Sea King farewell. We were leaving with more trunks than we had arrived with, the additional luggage full of gifts from King Saric. But our company was down four since I left my guards behind. I didn’t think I needed them. King Saric waited with his King's Guard on the seawall for the Sea Dragons to shift and swim away, with me on Sir Feilen's back.
King Jucai swam in the lead, and Sir Feilen took the rear, putting as much space between the King and me as possible. I assumed it was by Jucai's command. I closed my eyes and held on, putting mental space between us as well.
A few hours later, we entered the city of Kansu, and Jucai’s knights hired carriages to take us back to the palace. I rode in the King's carriage with him. Just the two of us. Ashe stared out the window, I struggled for something to say—something that wouldn't anger him.
“I hope you enjoyed your visit to Zaru, Your Majesty.”
Eyes twitching, he looked at me. “It was pleasant, but I have suppressed my body's needs for too long.”
It was then that I noticed the tremor in his hands and the tightness in his shoulders. I knew what it was. Not anger, not even lust. It was beyond them both. Pure, primal need. And it was my fault Jucai was suffering.
“I'm sorry, sire.”
“No matter,” Jucai tried to sound casual, but there was a growl beneath his words. “I will see to it as soon as we arrive. You will have to entertain yourself today, Lord Nadar. I'm afraid I may be a while.”
My face went hot, and not from embarrassment. Nor was it just my face that warmed. Blood surged through me, shooting heat through my entire body as my dragon roared. A gasp left my parted lips, and I swayed forward.
What the fuck is this?
“Nadar?” Jucai steadied me.
His touch sent erotic tingles through me, and I jerked away. “I'm fine, Your Majesty. Thank you.”
Jucai narrowed his eyes at me. “You do not seem fine.”
“Neither do you. Shall we see to ourselves?”
Stiffening, he withdrew. “As you wish.”
As soon as the carriage came to a stop, Jucai bolted out of it and up the stairs. By the time I had made it inside the palace, he was gone. And the thought of where he was going made me sick. Physically ill. I stumbled and nearly vomited on the pretty floor. A slave hurried over to assist me, but I waved him off.
